Sword does not meet watermelon


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/01/02/sword-does-not-meet-watermelon.html


#2

Never try to cut something when it has a higher tensile strength than the surface beneath it.


#3

Even if he had cut the melon, it would take quite a bit of control to arrest the sword stroke before hitting the table.

A hold-my-beer-and-watch-this moment in which everybody survived.


#4

I tried to use my extra large cleaver to cut a watermelon (as I don’t ever need to quarter a cow, which is what it is for) and discovered that the 1/4 inch thick blade was closer to a hammer than a knife, as far as cutting fruit goes.


#5

well, the watermelon WAS cut in half. collateral picnic damage.


#6

Look out, with chops like that you’re going to be recruited into an RNC thing and sent to drill with Fruit Ninja and Sword of The Berserk as source material. I for one welcome our new durian masters…


#7

Republican… National… Committee thing? I do not understand.


#8

Oh dear. VVS alert.


#9

I need to try out a few low-water grown watermelons before I jibe, but:

They’re hiring people who want to take on an agency’s mein and do the opposite, so if you’re sharpening a cleaver and then testing it out works no melon and mostly the feet of the chopping block, look out for fat stock distributions. Not meant as a dig on you but I’d imagined the sharpening process not really matching up.
[cameos: Sword cleaves sattelite in night sky, used to inspect edge. daikon resists.]

Sword of the Berserk has both a fruit that consumes who wishes on it, and I-beams reporposed as swords (by the power a flat rock and of SAME!) Fruit Ninja has speedlines. Delicious Apostles would be cool. Anyhow, I would covet that property in a court executioner that they have adequate tools that never damage their subject.
[Indiction Bailif approaches dais with defendant, retreats; surrounding prosecutors start coughing up their suits’ padding.]


#10

Those who live with glass tables…


#11

Paging Tristan Tsara to the red courtesy phone.


#12

This is the very reason I can not stand glass furniture. Won’t own it.


#13

Eh, it’ll wait for Ron Swanson to release a glass fab book.
Looks like this week, making ice furniture is in the cards…should’a ordered more edible quantum dot colors.


#14

Pre Darwin Award contestants?


#15

Did I just have a stroke?


#16

Isn’t the correct way to swing a sword to do it with the intention of stopping it a few inches after contact?

Or have I just read Snow Crash too many times?


#17

I’ve gone through three iPads trying to play “Fruit Ninja” that way.


#18

Yes. Yes she does.

How many melons do you chop with swords on a day-to-day basis?!?


#19

For chopping a melon that should be all you need, if the sword is sharp enough and the strike is fast enough. Upon a rewatch, it looks like the edge of the table actually stopped sword.


#20

Flossy is our friendly Markov chain bot par excellence