Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/13/tactical-toilet-paper-for-the.html
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Name it “black rash TP”, bet it’s a YUGE seller.
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Ah, the perfect stuff for Space Force.
BTW, I hear they’re going to Uranus to wipe out the Klingons.
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I wonder if whatever they are using to make it black (perhaps some sort of charcoal additive?) helps with odors.
Contrarily, I wonder how much bleach is used to make all of our “normal” tp white.
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I’m pretty sure there are plenty who have boldly gone there before. 
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Once you go vantablack you never go back.
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Right? I’ve long wondered that.
I’ve managed to find a brand of paper towels that isn’t bleached, but not TP yet.
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TP should be made from recycled paper without bleach, It’s not as if it has to look pretty or will be used more than once.
I assume no one is surprised that USA is number one consumer of TP per capita.
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I was hoping for knurled aluminum…
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Still not as horrible as:
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Real men use this, in P40 gradation:
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Only half functional though. It’s got “wiping implement” covered, but not very effective as “visual confirmation of mission accomplished”
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I’ve definitely had to use some TP before that was in the 100-grit range. Ouch.
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I’m guessing Scotts?
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Nope, nope, nope.
Back in the day, when smoking those American Flag or other colored rolling papers, the dyes in the papers would irritate my lips and leave a little spots on my lips. I shudder to think what dyes in toilet paper might do.
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I went so far as to take pack of 24 rolls to my apartment in China. The closest analogy I have for the TP there is cash register receipt rolls, but not as smooth or easy to tear.
To my credit (patting myself on the back…side), they lasted years.
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It’s probably carbon black, which is a very common pigment for most household items.
MUCH. Just standing downwind from a paper plant will make your eyes water.
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Or diamond plate with Kevlar lining!
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