Tactical toilet paper

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/13/tactical-toilet-paper-for-the.html

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Name it “black rash TP”, bet it’s a YUGE seller.

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Ah, the perfect stuff for Space Force.

BTW, I hear they’re going to Uranus to wipe out the Klingons.

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I wonder if whatever they are using to make it black (perhaps some sort of charcoal additive?) helps with odors.

Contrarily, I wonder how much bleach is used to make all of our “normal” tp white.

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I’m pretty sure there are plenty who have boldly gone there before. :wink:

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Once you go vantablack you never go back.

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Right? I’ve long wondered that.

I’ve managed to find a brand of paper towels that isn’t bleached, but not TP yet.

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TP should be made from recycled paper without bleach, It’s not as if it has to look pretty or will be used more than once.

I assume no one is surprised that USA is number one consumer of TP per capita.

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I was hoping for knurled aluminum…

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Still not as horrible as:

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Real men use this, in P40 gradation:

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Only half functional though. It’s got “wiping implement” covered, but not very effective as “visual confirmation of mission accomplished”

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I’ve definitely had to use some TP before that was in the 100-grit range. Ouch.

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I’m guessing Scotts?

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“This will match my little black rug perfectly.”

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Nope, nope, nope.

Back in the day, when smoking those American Flag or other colored rolling papers, the dyes in the papers would irritate my lips and leave a little spots on my lips. I shudder to think what dyes in toilet paper might do.

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I went so far as to take pack of 24 rolls to my apartment in China. The closest analogy I have for the TP there is cash register receipt rolls, but not as smooth or easy to tear.

To my credit (patting myself on the back…side), they lasted years.

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It’s probably carbon black, which is a very common pigment for most household items.

MUCH. Just standing downwind from a paper plant will make your eyes water.

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Or diamond plate with Kevlar lining!

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