Already there:
And then there’s this guy:
24 Likes
As it’s already pretty clear that someone’s hand is up Ted’s ass, working the lips and putting words in his mouth, I’m not sure what value a foam-rubber Cruz would bring.
The meat-muppet version is already horrifying enough.
18 Likes
How about no. How about we stop letting these assholes colonize every bit of our culture and poison it with their bullshit? I’m sick and tired of all of us rushing to give them everything so we can show how we’re better than them… just NO.
23 Likes
I think Big Bird could take Ted Cruz in a fight.
19 Likes
Ted better beak-areful.
11 Likes
Big Bird is an eight-foot-tall dinosaur. Ted Cruz is a loosely stuffed bag of Grade-F meat scraps.
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No, Ted Cruz is not mad.
I’ve never met him, obviously, but I’m quite sure one of the main reasons his colleagues hate him is because he’s always just got to be that smug, socially-awkward, “I am very smart” sophist asshole who pretends he’s mad about something in order to point out that he’s actually the most rational, objective thinker on a topic, even as his actual, subjective, irrational bias is unintentionally on display.
(See also: Shapiro, Ben)
11 Likes
Yeah, but Cruz has form for challenging people to fight uninvolved third parties who are tougher than he is, so he’d try to get Snuffleupagus to sub in for him. Or Elmo.
3 Likes
Thus the “Republican War on Sesame Street” has begun. Hey, Fox News can do that, why can’t we?
3 Likes
Asshole plugging? He sure plugs a lot of asshole causes, for sure.
And more generally: OMG WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE ANTHROPOMORPHIC PUPPETS?
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I’ve had shock and outrage fatigue for so long I forget to ask the basic questions.
Seriously, what is their stated position here? Aside from dogwhistles and coded subtext, are they still arguing that vaccines are mind control drugs? Or that everybody dying is the price of freedom?
I know it’s been years but I really genuinely don’t get the opposition to public health.
14 Likes
This isnt the darkest timeline.
This is the dumbest timeline.
11 Likes
9 Likes
OK, it’s not what Ted Cruz thinks. Big Bird was only TOLD he was being vaccinated for Covid.
Those syringes were actually filled with melted butter. It is, after all, very close to Thanksgiving…
9 Likes
Ted Cruz is bad performance art. And steals his act.
Hide the yams!
14 Likes
I’d say that Ted Cruz is beneath contempt; but he’s the kind of guy you don’t want to give anything to hide under, because you can be fairly sure that whatever he is doing out of sight is even worse than what he does for the camera.
5 Likes
The actual reasons for opposing vaccinations are as varied as the people opposing it. Perhaps more varied, since many of them appear to hold multiple, contradictory opinions at the same time.
7 Likes
Is is just me, or does nurse Jane sound just like Elizabeth Warren?
1 Like
Huh, weird. TIL Ted Cruz was my thesis advisor.
5 Likes
