Texas corpse turns out to be discarded sex doll

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Originally published at: Texas corpse turns out to be discarded sex doll | Boing Boing

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Finding stashes of porn in the woods has now been replaced by finding discarded sex dolls in the woods? I don’t think that’s a positive move.

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Pondering on this, there doesn’t seem to be any good way to dispose of sex dolls.

Leave them at the curb? Ewww; “Hi neighbor!”

Cut them up into a garbage bag? Garbage man turns you in.

Toss anywhere haphazardly? This scenario.

Maybe dress them up and create performance art somewhere?

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Not the kind of thing you want to leave to the descendants either. I think there’s a niche business in here for the daring entrepreneur willing to tackle this issue. :thinking:

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Hopefully your neighbor doesn’t already know you have one.

Rear Window (1954)

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In my day, the best you could hope for was some discarded Playboys in the woods…

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A disposable darling?

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Sell to HOV scofflaws

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Ummm, used sex dolls?

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DNA test more costly than the return for a littering fee one might presume [moue emoji]

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Only time I ever discovered someone’s discarded stash of porn was when I lived in Dallas. I’m guessing folks in other states are better at hiding stuff - including sex dolls. :wink:

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Sounds like the premise of a universally unwanted sequel to Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree.”

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Officers then noticed there was no foul smell coming from the body

Really? I would’ve expected a discarded sex doll to smell pretty foul.

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“Remember: the black bin is for trash, the green bin is for compostables, the blue bin is for recycling, and the neon pink bin is for inanimate objects you fucked.”

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Considering their politics, we shouldn’t be surprised a Texas cop made the ID mistake.

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C’mon down to Crazy Eddie’s Discount Sex Doll Emporium!

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  1. Dress doll in appropriate thrift clothes
  2. Spraypaint head to toe in gold paint
  3. Under cover of darkness, pose on park bench
  4. Add tip jar
  5. Leave the scene expeditiously.
  6. Keep an eye on the news

(No, this is NOT from experience)

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*Small edit for snark clarity

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I guess they’ll have no trouble getting a DNA sample from it.

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corpse turns out to be sex doll

I submit that this is a far superior outcome than the other way around.

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Kenan Thompson Reaction GIF by NBC

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