Texas man so stoned he mistakes dog bite for gun shot, calls the cops

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"Texas Dogbite Gunshot Butt Wound’ Would make a good name for a kickass brand of weed.

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Hey, at least he only thought he’d been shot by a gun. He could have thought it was a rocket, man.

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I thought you could only get so high. Now I am kinda jealous I never got that high.

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Or a Butthole Surfers album.

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I lived in a small <5k town for a short while and while the scanner was running in the background it crackled and I heard (names approximate as I don’t recall specifics):
Dispatch: Car 4, Donny you on?
Car: I’m on Carla.
Dispatch: Bob’s drunk and is at it with Loretta again.
Car: He doesn’t have the axe again does he?
Dispatch: I’m afraid so.

What got me was how matter-of-factly this exchange was - like it wasn’t unusual at all - just another Friday night…

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Even in our Los Angeles adjacent city, we have a minimum of 4 cop cars show up for everything.

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Yup. When I was a kid, Torrance PD showed up because neighbors had called that my house was being TP’d. Three cop cars and six cops… And my a-hole buddies hiding in my backyard with my dog (who obviously knew them).

In a shocking turn of events, when I was asked if I knew who could have done it, and I replied “Yeah, I’ve got an idea”, the cops said “well, it looks like they left their bag of TP, don’t let their neighbors call us!”.

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