That Time Danny DeVito Saved Michael Douglas' Life (Surprise Ending!)


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holy shit, I made the mistake of watching the movie ‘The Package’ on Netflix and just when I thought I had forgotten about that piece of shit movie Danny makes the joke about being bit by a snake on the balls and it all comes back. What is Netflix’s obsession with showing peen anyway. Stay away from ‘Game Over, Man!’ as well.


DeVito never mentioned if the snake was actually poisonous. I tend to doubt it.


Are people who have snake phobias afraid of stories about snakes too?


I don’t think DeVito seems like a bad guy.
I don’t think it’s necessary to spread this story about him making a questionable decision in the heat of the moment.


I had a co-worker, big dude, that could get quiet upset at a picture of a spider. He knew it was a picture, but his whole body just re-acts.


Seems like a bad time to research the snake the snake though.


(Surprise Ending!)

It didn’t work! Michael Douglas has been dead since that very day!


I loved that movie. Being a child in the 80’s and having limited access to a handful of VHS tapes I think I watched this movie 20-30 times. I was so excited and then even more disappointed in the sequel.


Wouldn’t it be possible to suck the poison out yourself if you’re bitten on the hand?


It works well as a funny story about a guy who is afraid of snakes. Me, I would have asked the handler if the snake was poisonous.


Ok, I guess I’ll be THAT guy.

Sucking the venom out is one of the worst things you can do. First off you are getting venom in your mouth right near blood vessels and on top of that you are causing the poison to actually go deeper and speed up the circulation. On top of that you are removing the shit that might actually help when the doctors try to identify the poison.

So probably not a venomous snake unless Mike got lucky (Sometimes those snakes are not shooting out poison when they bite)


True ‘nuff, I gave Divito some lee way since it was an act of panic.


If it was me i’d do the world a favor and let Michael Douglas go the way of all things.


I have heard the same joke at least 20 years ago. It involved cowboys, not actors, but otherwise the same joke.


Video don’t work


I heard this joke before but with the Lone Ranger and Tonto. Is this another case like Douglas Adams and the package of biscuits?


Phobias are strange. Back when i had a phobia of needles (which today i learn is called aichmophobia) even a mention of the word could make me light-headed.


That’s right. This is an old joke. Punchline: “sorry, Tex, the doctor says you’re going to die.”


Is it spreading the story when he is the one who told it to however many viewers The Talk has?