The best opening paragraph on Wikipedia

Lieutenant-General Sir Adrian Paul Ghislain Carton de Wiart VC, KBE, CB, CMG, DSO (5 May 1880 – 5 June 1963), was a British Army officer of Belgian and Irish descent. He served in the Boer War, First World War, and Second World War, was shot in the face, head, stomach, ankle, leg, hip, and ear,… READ THE REST

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Except this time, you know, without the irony. That’s an amazing story.


Middle name of “Ghislain”?


No picture for this one, but if you’re looking for a mother of god badass soldier, here’s one hard to beat! Léo Major! Capturing town et armor all by himself.

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Not bad… but I raise you


Henceforth, all Chuck Norris jokes will be replaced with Lieutenant-General Sir Adrian Paul Ghislain Carton de Wiart jokes.


Damn. I’m glad the British have been on our side (for the last century or so anyway).

What makes your think we are on your side. Doesn’t matter who the fuck you are. We are on our own side. I might have had a bit too much cider in the pub earlier

What no mosquito bites?

The painting used to illustrate this article is unfinished because the artist fled for his life. It didn’t save him.

Sorry! Please don’t head butt me in the face.



It’s finished. The general had bitten off the rest of his body as part of a training exercise.

“Governments may think and say as they like, but force cannot be
eliminated, and it is the only real and unanswerable power. We are
told that the pen is mightier than the sword, but I know which of
these weapons I would choose.”

Still, I bet he could have taken on at least half a regiment if he was armed with a pen.


You can’t fool me. That is none other than “Bat Guano.”

I give you Robert Henry Cain.

Jeremy Clarkson’s Father-in-Law.

As a child, I once met Charles Upham, still the only combat soldier ever to have been awarded the Victoria Cross twice.

He was cited by King George VI for, among many other things, “superb coolness”.

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Still partial to Simo Häyhä, myself. Not as many different and exciting exploits as some of these other heroes, but unparalleled as a relatively low-tech death machine. 5’1", iron sights, 700 enemy dead in three months.

I met this chap once. Local hero for me.

There can be only one…Indubitably.

P.S. I am not this man, or that man, but we are men among men. Some fight. Some write. Tonight.