The ClearUP can whisk away sinus pain from allergies in just 5 minutes

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/07/01/the-clearup-can-whisk-away-sin.html

Having done zero research into it, this seems like some real fucking snakeoil right here. Between this and the frequent ‘Learn X in just 5 easy lessons’ kind of stuff that appears through the shop feed, I feel like BB could do better.

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The ClearUP can whisk away sinus pain from allergies in just 5 minutes

On a related note, no it can’t.

Though if you double up the treatment to 10 full minutes, it still can’t. Tripling to 15 minutes, the studies are unclear. Strangely, at 18.7 minutes, the oil-life of your Ford Fiesta is improved by a factor of 1.0834.

Maybe instead, give teeth to the FDA so they can stop this kind of bullshit.

(But, to be clear, I’m not disappointed in this bullshit in the slightest, so all’s good boingboing.)

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Neti pot. Inhale eucalyptus oil in vapor. Chicken soup with lots of garlic. Tequila.

That’s all you need.

It helps if you can do all of that whilst hanging upside down.

Just so ya know.

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I used to have some amazing buffalo trace whisky that was 80%. It was amazing. Great for clearing out sinuses too.

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???

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Apply directly to the forehead

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who would possibly get this without trying it out first? which means you’d have to have sinus pain at the time. So, if I had reliable sinus pain and a money back guarantee?

I’m pretty sure they were selling the same device last year to rid your thighs of ugly cellulite.

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This device does not outperform a placebo:

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Eighteen months before that it was a miracle avocado ripener.

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Next it will be Violet ray machines. ClearUp isn’t too far off with it’s “micro current waveforms” though admittedly far less chance of it being fatal.

“And the pressure can make your entire face feel so tender that it almost feels like somebody hauled off and punched you in the face.”

Seriously …who writes this ad copy?

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If you were the sort of person who habitually hangs upside-down, you probably wouldn’t be so batshit crazy about the garlic, I suspect.

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Next time, try drinking them, you sick mofos.

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Booze in a neti pot? I cannot imagine anything more painful. I mistakenly used plain water in my neti pot once, and I wanted to pass out from the pain.

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Did you read the results of the randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blinded clinical trial that you linked to? Because they said that it was safe and effective, definitely outperformed placebo.

Based on just the image, I was totally expecting this thing to be a vibrator.

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you may be on to something, there:

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I use garlic in my netti pot; two or three cloves, crushed, in sterile water sufficient to fill the netti pot. Let it sit five minutes, then remove the cloves. Stings a bit (actually, hurts like hell) but it resolves the sinus pain. I am certainly not recommending doing this, I know of no one else recommending this, but it works for me…the medical alternatives (drugs from the doctor) did not work as well and the amount I was taking was probably unhealthy (as snorting garlic may be, I guess)

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I wonder if it might sting/hurt less if you added salt in whatever amount is normally used in a neti pot? Or would that reduce the efficacy of the garlic??

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