The Gallery of Trump-Inspired Assholes


#Show me the Money!

“The agent told me he’s heard from a number of officials currently inside the White House who want to know how much money they could expect to make from writing books when they leave.” -Axios

Filed under: Fiction.


Turns out Chaffetz has a very unique take on how to break with the rise of Trump in the GOP: call him Obama-like.


Chaffetz: “Look, as a position, as a chairman of a, of a committee, plus what I have to do with my own campaign, I have to raise about $1 million a year, maximum individual contribution is $2,700.”

Aha! Bingo! Read that carefully: In order to keep his position as chairman of the committee, he had to raise $1M/year for the party (minus campaign), or the party would give that to someone who could come up with the money.

That’s why there are some perpetual meat-heads on some committees, like Creationists on science and technology ones, coal-holes on energy ones. They can raise the funds from people with deep pockets. (The maximum individual contribution is a joke. Money always funds finds a way.)


Well, sure. All things bad in politics are Obummer’s fault, yeah? /s


Spineless Bastards


This is a real dick move.


Sessions lawyers up


Because they don’t want to be criticized.


Stephens-Davidowitz suggests there were signs that voter turnout for Hillary Clinton would be down because the number of internet searches for voting information were down from the previous election — especially in majority black neighbourhoods.

Stephens-Davidowitz says that he was shocked to learn how many people search the internet for racist content. And he argues that there is a direct correlation between racist internet searches and the rise of U.S. President Donald Trump.

“It’s really clear in this data that racism played a huge role in Trump’s rise, even though people wouldn’t admit that.”


The first words out of my mouth the morning after the election was “The racists won.” Followed by lots of expletives. Mostly fuck.




Tick tock…

“I want to qualify, I am not an actor. I lie for a living. However, it has been a while and maybe it is time,”

Knock knock.
Who is it?
Secret Service
Secret Service who?


That sort of shit isn’t to be joked about or taken lightly by anyone, especially by a guy with documented rage issues like Depp. I suspect Disney might have a little bit of trouble hiring him for the next pirate adventure after this.

On the other hand, like Depp, John Wilkes Booth is said to have been the dreamy heartthrob of his day before his very rash actions at Ford’s Theater. Or has that ship already sailed for old Jack Sparrow?


And Alex Jones gets off with a simple apology statement…



And really, do we need trump to be remembered as a martyr.


I… really don’t get it. He lied about something in an attempt to intimate a former subordinate, his bluff was called, and he had to backpedal. This wasn’t some sort of spectacular Batman gambit.

The calculus it must take to come up with a justification for this is far beyond my comprehension.


I guess I was struck by how ridiculous this sycophantic statement was, considering most of humanity was at a distinct disadvantage for having lived outside the time when writing a tweet was even possible. I just know Socrates would have killed it in twitter followers, especially when he live streamed his final drinking party.


In Johnny’s defense he’s gradually just become Captain Jack Sparrow. He’s no longer acting.