The Good Liars investigate claims that JFK is still alive

Originally published at: The Good Liars investigate claims that JFK is still alive | Boing Boing

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At first I thought he was talking about JFK Jr, who’s also a character in the Qnut Cinematic Universe. But then came that exasperated correction.

Now if JFK is still alive, those of us with true secret knowledge know that he bears a striking resemblance to Ossie Davis.

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“He’d be one hundred and six.”

Checkmate, liberals. Man clearly thought he’d won the point with that declaration.

The MAGA right is full of people with clear issues. I can’t say for sure what each individual’s issues are, but they all need help and intervention of some kind.

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Absolutely love that indignant energy behind the “106!” correction, with the “you idiot” implied.

But the notion that the better alternative to 80-year-old sleepy, creepy Joe is a centenarian who’d been shot in the head twice? Well, not so fast…I’m still mulling that one over, 'cause maybe I’m missing something.:thinking:

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The weirdest thing about the JFK claim is that the Qnuts think that he’d be on their side.

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I heard… shhh… I heard JFK sr & jr are giving sub tours to the Titanic to look for Hunter’s laptop and would love for you all to join them.

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The hair, the outfit, the body language, it all screams ‘peaked in high school’.

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“Would be” 106, vs “Is” 106.

Doesn’t he believe his own bullshit?

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He’s gone down another level, where JFK still being alive is just what they want you to think!

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I wanna see this guy debate someone who thinks “the bullet came from inside JFK’s skull!”

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Pedant here. RFK Jr.?

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“He’d be 106”
“oh, scuze me”
:rofl:

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No. A lot of these lunatics believed that JFK Jr. didn’t die in that plane crash and was in fact the mysterious Q.

RFK Jr. is a whole other batch of delusion.

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There was a very sweet story about JFK surviving the assassination in that “Alternate Kennedys” anthology from the early 1990s or so. NB: The author is not Harry Turtledove (per the excerpt here), just edited a collection where it was republished.

MAY , 1971

IT WAS UNCLE TEDDY who taught me how to read and write. I think it took a long time but I’m not sure. I heard him arguing with Mother about it one night a few years ago when I wasn’t supposed to be out of my room, but I was very excited with the next day being my birthday and I couldn’t sleep.

“He can do it,” Uncle Teddy had said.

And Mother said, “He doesn’t care whether he reads or writes. It’s you who cares. Why do you torture yourself? Let him be.”

“He’s fifty-four years old,” Uncle Teddy said.

“Let him be!” Mother sounded very angry.

I listened to Uncle Teddy walk across the room. “If you feel that way,” he said, “why didn’t you just let him die?”

There was a long silence before Mother said, “I don’t know,” and another long silence after that.

Something in their voices frightened me so I returned to my room. I became very ill, and for several weeks Dr. Armbruster came to see me every day but he wouldn’t let anyone else come in because he said I was too weak to have visitors.

But sometime after, when I was much better, Uncle Teddy came to visit and he brought a picture book with him which made me remember his talk with Mother. I’m glad Uncle Teddy got his way because now I read and write a lot even though I throw most of my writing away. I hide some of it though and keep it just for myself, and it’s not because I’m being sneaky, it’s more because some of the things I write are my own personal secrets and I don’t want to tell anyone, just like people don’t want to tell me things sometimes when I ask them questions…

[read the whole thing]

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They’re not crazy, you guys (wink emoji). One of the many, many branches that make up the World Tree of the Q conspiracy is that the uber-wealthy and powerful have access to “med-beds” like in the movie Elysium. Got arthritis? A wee bit of cancer? 15 minutes in the med-bed and you’re good to go.

“But why doesn’t Joe Biden have access to such a thing given he is one of the most powerful people on the planet?” I can hear you asking. The truly powerful are the ones that run the world in secret. Besides, Joe Biden isn’t really president.

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