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Oh, can we do Cunk quotes?
On Jesus: “What’s ironic about Jesus Christ becoming a carpenter, is that he was actually named after the two words you shout when you hit your thumb with a hammer”
On Henry VIII: “He was addicted to Catherines: a Catherine-aholic, or Catholic for short”
On his son Edward: “He died at 15, which is the youngest anyone has ever died of old age”
On Queen Mary: “She killed so many Protestants, she earned the name Bloody Mary, because like the drink, she was horrible”
On Britain: “The British had a firm grasp of the solid parts of the country, like this rock. But there was a load of stuff round the edges that wouldn’t do as it was told. It was wet, it was full of fish, and it wouldn’t make up its mind how close to the rock it wanted to be”
On Queen Victoria: “The death of Queen Victoria reduced the number of women in British politics by 100%”
On slavery: “These days people pay thousands of pounds to visit the sun kissed islands of the Carribbean. But in the 1700s you could go there for free, if you were black and didn’t want to go there.”
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I prefer Two Episodes Of Mash.
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Bonus {an old favorite of mine}:
o-kurwa
officialfist
Unrestrained summer fun
merelygifted
OP tag: Fort Wayne Indiana Zoo; posted September 20, 2019
ETA:
Found this Absolute Gem in the comments on that wonderful vid:
artistcheez
he is beuaty, he is grace, he has melon stuffed in his face.
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