The meaning of "premium mediocre"

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/08/30/the-meaning-of-premium-medio.html

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Folks in the food service industry call that Gold Card Denny’s.

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Millennials call it being a basic bitch

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Premium mediocre is all my performance reviews.

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Has a catchy ring to it.

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Every mid-sized or above town in AZ has, just outside city limits, a “Premium Outlet” mall, which I think must be a grade or two below “Premium Mediocre”, but mostly just rings of oxymoron to me.

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Real millennials just call it being a basic. The “bitch” remains implied.

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I will happily upgrade to premium bitch on request. Hell, I’ll do it anyway.
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Premium mediocre is upgrading to synthetic when you get your Toyota Corolla’s oil changed at Jiffy Lube.

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“Artisan” pizza is NOT premium mediocre. I agree with everything else though.

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Damnit, “pumpkin spice” isn’t SUPPOSED to have pumpkin in it. If you have pumpkin in it you’re doing it wrong!

“Pumpkin spice” is a flavor profile that comes from a spice mix typically associated with pumpkin-based deserts like pumpkin pie. It’s not actual pumpkin. It’s nutmeg, cinnamon, and allspice. Maybe clove too. Something that is “pumpkin spice flavored” is NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE PUMPKIN IN IT!

That said - pumpkin spice is still premium mediocre.

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Premium mediocre is picking out the sunglasses labelled “polarized” at the gas station.

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Premium mediocre is taking the time to make the decision between fried and caramelized onions on your slider.

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Canadian Premium Mediocre is driving the extra half-mile to Submay to get a cup of coffee because Tim Horton’s coffee tastes too acidic.

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‘Premium mediocre’ is always picking a basic White dude over everyone else, no matter what.

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Premium mediocre is a disdain for high fructose corn syrup while smoking cigarettes.

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Some people just hate good things

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I think that’s more cognitive dissonance.

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I think a proper example is: Premium mediocre is a disdain for high fructose corn syrup, and using agave nectar instead (it’s actually worse).

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