Two Canadians review Starbucks Japan’s new American Cherry Pie Frappuccino


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/04/14/two-canadians-review-starbucks.html


#2

They were just trying to make the perfect drink for Dale Cooper.


#3


#4

I love cherry pie, but maybe not in my coffee.


#5

who doesn’t like a little naphthalene in their Frappuccino:


#6

Probably put your thumb over the top of the straw to give it maximum penetrative power.


#7

Hence the phrase: “As American as cherry pie!”

Looks good though.


#8

generous of you, calling it coffee.


#9

I’m pretty sure there’s no actual coffee in there.


#10

shakes head, submits to /r/JapanCircleJerk


#11

It is Starbucks, after all.


#12

This thing is literally just cherry compote and whipped cream with a pastry dome. It’s not even a coffee-frappuccino, it’s just straight up dessert.


#13

Let’s see…with 20 teaspoons of sugar? Maybe 30?


#14

Can I get one of those with my McNuggets & Szechuan Sauce?

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!


#15

There’s nothing pretending to be coffee in there, either.

I think the base is a vanilla milkshake, actually - apparently that’s their “vanilla bean frappuccino.” They’ve managed to make a “coffee drink” that has no coffee.

The base drink apparently has 10 teaspoons of sugar (and a whole lot of fat). You can probably add another five to ten for the rest of the ingredients.


#16

That part is nothing new, they’ve had a line of “creme frapps” for years with no coffee or caffeine at all for folks who just want a milkshake.


#17

It’s just strange that they coined a term that they’ve defined as explicitly encompassing “coffee drinks” and then used that term to name something that has no coffee. It’s this weird descriptive drift, where I would expect they’ll eventually start using it to describe sandwiches or something. 'I’d like the ham frappuccino on rye, please."


#18

That actually sounds no more disgusting to me than most of the other Starbucks options.


#19

One of a roommate’s favorite stories was the odd look she got from staff when she asked for a little more milk in her too-thick McDonald’s “shake”. Then the realization hit…


#20

These days it just means “whizzed up in a blender”. They have tea frapps, ‘creme’ frapps, fruit frapps (aka smoothies), and of course coffee frapps.