Two Canadians review Starbucks Japan’s new American Cherry Pie Frappuccino


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They were just trying to make the perfect drink for Dale Cooper.



I love cherry pie, but maybe not in my coffee.


who doesn’t like a little naphthalene in their Frappuccino:


Probably put your thumb over the top of the straw to give it maximum penetrative power.


Hence the phrase: “As American as cherry pie!”

Looks good though.


generous of you, calling it coffee.


I’m pretty sure there’s no actual coffee in there.


shakes head, submits to /r/JapanCircleJerk


It is Starbucks, after all.


This thing is literally just cherry compote and whipped cream with a pastry dome. It’s not even a coffee-frappuccino, it’s just straight up dessert.


Let’s see…with 20 teaspoons of sugar? Maybe 30?


Can I get one of those with my McNuggets & Szechuan Sauce?

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!


There’s nothing pretending to be coffee in there, either.

I think the base is a vanilla milkshake, actually - apparently that’s their “vanilla bean frappuccino.” They’ve managed to make a “coffee drink” that has no coffee.

The base drink apparently has 10 teaspoons of sugar (and a whole lot of fat). You can probably add another five to ten for the rest of the ingredients.


That part is nothing new, they’ve had a line of “creme frapps” for years with no coffee or caffeine at all for folks who just want a milkshake.


It’s just strange that they coined a term that they’ve defined as explicitly encompassing “coffee drinks” and then used that term to name something that has no coffee. It’s this weird descriptive drift, where I would expect they’ll eventually start using it to describe sandwiches or something. 'I’d like the ham frappuccino on rye, please."


That actually sounds no more disgusting to me than most of the other Starbucks options.


One of a roommate’s favorite stories was the odd look she got from staff when she asked for a little more milk in her too-thick McDonald’s “shake”. Then the realization hit…


These days it just means “whizzed up in a blender”. They have tea frapps, ‘creme’ frapps, fruit frapps (aka smoothies), and of course coffee frapps.