The Mummy trailer goes online missing most of its audio and it's the best


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/12/20/the-mummy-trailer-goes-online.html


#2

The Darth Vader re-dub is pretty excellent. Got a good laugh out of that.


#3

I am really not sure about this Universal Monsters cinematic universe idea.

Dracula Untold was dire. And I can’t claim to have high hopes for this.


#4

Tom cruise is going to get his grimy little paws on The Mummy? Like the Mummy with Brenden Fraiser??? Fuck him. That movie was perfect. It needed nothing, least of all a heavily closeted man-boy with serious ego issues.


#5

The previous Dracula film has been ruled non-canon. And there’s a Dr. Jekyll film coming out in the not-too-distant future that isn’t even related to Universal’s planned Jekyll/Hyde film. This whole idea is already a mess.


#6

As much as i have a special dislike for Cruise he does make some entertaining movies. However him doing this mummy movie is definitely wasted, i just can’t imagine it panning out in the way Universal is hoping. I suspect it may do alright at the box office but i can’t imagine it’ll be a hit. As you said, the cinematic universe they’re going for just doesn’t make any bloody sense.

I could see it working a bit better if they didn’t go all dark and gritty and were having fun with these monster characters. But between Dracula Untold and this there’s just no fun or love to be had there.


#7

I don’t loathe Cruise or his films, but this is just a bad idea.


#8

Yeah, those Mummy movies are not perfect but at least they don’t take themselves too seriously. I have pretty fond memories of going to see those in theaters, definitely would not mind rewatching them with friends over a few beers.

This new version i would need to be heavily intoxicated to get anything out of it (a hangover or alcohol poisoning most likely)


#9

This is the best laugh I’ve had all day. Just beautiful.

The trailer itself looks terrible. The Mummy is not improved by making the monster a hot chick with linen wrappings just barely covering her boobies.


#10

I’m going to add this to my list of reasons I’m glad it doesn’t look like a reboot of The Creature From The Black Lagoon will ever happen.


#11

I would never have seen this trailer if it was not for the fuck-up on their part. I still won’t see it now but the extra exposure they got this way… It would be pretty clever if they did it on purpose.


#12

And that’s quite alright :slight_smile: I can see the appeal of Tom Cruise, speaking only for myself i can’t abide by his religious beliefs but i would not give anyone grief over enjoying his work. He’s a good actor.

And yeah, the film is a misstep for Universal and the casting is their best attempt at making it work. At best it’ll be average, but i have zero interest in it beyond throwing some shade at it.


#13

I don’t think you get it. Mummy boobs.


#14

Right? OMG, Brendan Fraser in that movie is so tasty. And I love Rachel Weisz in it, too. Do not touch Hollywood!

LOVE


#15

What brings all the mummy boys to the yard? Dusty, moldy, decrepit boobies.

Is that a pyramid in my wrappings or am I just happy to see you? Rowr!!


#16

I had remained blissfully unaware of this concept until this morning.

I’ll just keep trying to enjoy Penny Dreadful.


#17

[quote=“Grey_Devil, post:13, topic:91473, full:true”]
I don’t think you get it. Mummy boobs.[/quote]

You just put me in mind of my brother’s friend’s grandma…chain smoking and overly tanning to the end. She had a hide like a brown elephant and always wore bikini tops in the Kansas heat.

Side note: Of what use are four cornea/iris?

Extra side note: Probably not a “You had one job” situation, but kind of bummed to think someone may be/will be fired for this.


#18

Princess Omelet? Did I hear him say Princess Omelet?


#19

More than likely the people fired will be the obviously non important people that worked very hard on this. The people making all the actually important decisions will get a raise and more chances to fuck things up.


#20

The thing is, there already once was a Universal Monsters Cinematic Universe. Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man was in 1943, followed on by House of Dracula and House of Frankenstein (and then later Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein). The various movie monsters met each other and fought with each other and used each other as pawns and have a setup that you could just keep using.

This idea shouldn’t be so hard. You don’t even have to do the original movies again - just pick up with the characters in 2016 and run with it. But Universal keeps trying to make it difficult and make everyone have an “origin” movie. They don’t trust that people will understand what’s going on if they don’t see everything from the beginning. But these monsters are sunk deep enough into our culture that you don’t need to give us another updated origin of the Mummy or of Dracula or of Frankenstein’s Monster - just assume we know who these creatures are and get on with whatever they’re doing in 2016. You can come back and tell us how they survived later if you must, but frankly you probably don’t need to. They’re monsters! They always come back.