The Oatmeal to Ted Cruz: Net Neutrality is not Obamacare



Net Neutrality : Obamacare :: Ted Cruz : _________

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It’s not amazing when you think about the crazy blowhards that make up the GOP. It’s sad to think that people believe responding to that nonsense will make any difference. It’s not like they’re innocently ignorant, you know. Even if they know the facts, it’s not going to make them change their behaviour.

I think you’re totally missing the point. Obviously nobody seriously believes Ted Cruz is going to read this and dawn will suddenly break over his thick head. Personally, when I’m arguing with a pinhead, I’m not arguing to change THEIR minds. I’m arguing to change the minds of any otherwise sensible people in the audience who might have listened to them.

Personally… I think it’s sad that you think public shaming like this WON’T make any difference, because it’s just one more excuse to sit around doing nothing. Anything’s better than cynical resignation. :frowning:


Some guy I know wrote:

If Ted Cruz was right that “Net Neutrality” is “Obamacare for the Internet" these five things would happen if Net Neutrality was adopted by the FCC:

  1. The individual mandate to get a quality Internet Service would bring with it substantial federally subsidies for those who could not afford it.

  2. Any crappy dial up plan would likely be deemed ineligible under this mandate because it would not meet minimal essential download speeds. In other words you wouldn’t get to keep your AOL service.

  3. If you were 26 you could stay on your parent’s internet subscription service plan no matter where you where

  4. Internet service providers would have to apply 85 percent of their subscription costs to actually improving internet infrastructural service that is measurably bettering their service.

  5. Your state would be incentivized to expand quality ISP service to the poor with a program that is funded 100 percent by the federal government until 2017 and then 95 percent until 2020 and 90 percent after that.

Don’t believe it if you don’t want to.


So when are the Birthers going to get on Ted Cruz’s case? I mean, that’s going to happen, right?


Crab tacos?



The first element in each pair has absolutely no connection to the second. . .


It’s funny, but it doesn’t need to be said because it doesn’t matter. Point #1 in his comic is the start and end of the situation here, and generally all situations within our “government.” It’s all that needs to be said.

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I don’t know when they will, seems ripe for it doesn’t he?

“Lookit tha dirty sumbitch, first he was deliberately born in Canada but then he took a mexican name to fool us all inta thinkin hes a murican! He thinks were dumb!”


“If we’re going to say something ignorantly foolish, we might as well go all the way.”

  • Ted Cruz’ Twitter Writer
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Conservatives like to bring up the “free market” all the time, and in this instance they use the phrase to imply internet providers should be allowed to do whatever they want, but think of it this way: it’s not about the freedom of internet providers, it’s about the freedom of everyone else who uses the internet, including nearly every business-- if you are “pro business” then how can you not support net neutrality? It’s like Cruz is siding with one industry over all others; apparently it bad when the government makes rules that impede business, but it’'s A-OK if one industry can impede all others.


This should be spread around. It would be hilarious if we could use Ted Cruz’s silliness as a means to explain and bolster Obamacare.


Ted Cruz is the Obamacare of the Senate.

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Ted Cruz.


Have they abandoned the carefully planned falsehood that Net Neutrality means censorship or equal time rights for opposing opinions, so Obama can filter out the truthiness?
El Rushbo and Glenn Beck were all over that anti-factoid, you know, because the last thing the “Fair and Balanced” want is be forced to give equal time to counter them.

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Joke version 1: because it’s insulting to compare anything else to Ted Cruz.
Joke version 2: because any ratio x:y is a possible value for 0:0.


friends don’t let friends Cruz the internet


Close enough.

Net Neutrality : Obamacare :: Ted Cruz : Relevance

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