The Onion wonders if animals should have more eyes


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This would have been a more apt question for The Potato.



More mouths are gonna necessitate more assholes, and the world certainly does not need more assholes.


Or bigger ones, which would be even worse.


Yes Indeedy. Rob is doing the lords work.


It’s kind of time for @beschizza to develop a browser plug-in that just replaces every person’s eyes with their mouth. Would make reading the news waaaay more fun.


More mouths would be great. Eat with one, talk with the other.

Having multiple holes for different purposes downstairs is a great innovation IMO. I feel kinda sad for animals who have to get by with just a cloaca.


Obviously, they’d be much better off if they just had more money.


100% medically accurate, so you know it’s good


Well obviously I’d like it if all my key parts were redundant and I could live for a thousand years. But my genome’s not interested in shelling out for anything like that; it’s cheaper just to replace me when I wear out. The only reason it even permits two eyes is so I can detect food and sex targets in 3D.

But the joke’s on you, DNA, because I’m resolutely gay and I refuse to do anything to advantage my genetic relatives.


the correct answer in both cases is NOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOO!!!


My only complaint is that you aren’t replacing ⊥rumps mouth with an arsehole. He talks enough shite.




Platypodes have three vaginas


Good for them, I say!


Hmph, Jesus gave every animal all the eyes it needs!


It’s like some sort of Elder Thing. Only less likeable.