The Onion's new profanity-laced cooking videos send up the genre perfectly

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Hahahaha! These are great!

I imagine that is how ICP teaches cooking.

Cooking, how the fuck does that work?


Good stuff. If you’re into fake cooking shows, you might also like The Katering Show.


I dunno… it just seems kinda mean. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all up for lampooning the idiocy and relentless sunniness of cooking shows. i cook and, let’s face it, the process of cooking is nothing like what they portray. Where are my nice bowls of prechopped everything? Who is cleaning my counter as I go along? Where have I stashed all those fresh herbs and/or spices? &c &c

It’s easy enough to lampoon. But this just seems to be an exercise in insulting the viewer.

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Not very funny really. now if you want funny, go watch the ‘you suck at cooking’ videos. They actually teach you how to cook some interesting things sometimes and the humor is actually funny.


Who needs a stranger to insult you while you’re attempting to cook? That’s what loved ones are for!

Note: What my SO says about my cooking ability may sound cruel, but is 100% accurate. I HAVE managed to burn water before.

“add more shit to the omelette”

Ok, I will.

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meh - using profanity funny, dialogue not so great - but there is a kernel of something amazing buried in there.

Ah, thanks for the reminder! I remember loving that awhile back, lost track during one of their lulls. Looking forward to catching up with those two!

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The whole “swearing is funny” thing just doesn’t do it for me. Just seems hillbilly. There’s a cookbook called “Thug Kitchen” that has some of the best recipes I’ve ever made but it, too, drops f-bombs throughout in a cringey attempt to be funny.


Well actually, that’s honing your knife with your sword. /s

Also the other two videos are better than the omelette.


Truly, it’s a bad idea to work in a hot, cramped kitchen with your spouse while she’s holding a knife. That’s why we’ve tentatively decided any cooking show we start would be called “Get the Fuck Out of my Kitchen”.


Way back in 2011 my friend and cooking mentor Mary Ridley said it first: “Put the Fucking Turkey in the oven!”

Shit!! Now I’m fucking hungry!!

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“Honing” is sharpening. If you don’t believe me, rub your steel with a paper towel after using it. That grey streak is bits of your knife you sharpened off.




What is this? You don’t use that kind of knife for ice.