Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/12/28/the-real-story-of-sea-monkeys.html
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“Sea monkeys? Bunch of no-talent hacks.”–Triops
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Hell yeah! Triops pwn brine shrimp.
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The worst thing I can say about triops is they ate each other until the was only one. On the other hand, then I had a 2" long three eyed cannibal horseshoe crab monster.
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That was a really fun piece
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The worst thing?!? Triop Thunderdome is frickin’ awesome!
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Sea Monkeys were my generation’s version of “fake news.”
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I’m trying to reduce my stuff down to a suitcase. It’s post like above about triops that test my resolve.
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Am I the only person who has never heard of Triops?
looks them up
The horror! 
The idea of these things eating each other fills me great dread.
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Many years back I visited Mono Lake in east-central California. There were real life real live wild brine shrimp there. To adapt a line from Twain (I think), like little bits of frayed string flitting about in the thick waters.
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That sonofabitch ripped me off when I was 6 years old. I just ended up with a glass full of murky water.
If I could have that buck 25 back with interest, well… I’d be rich(er).
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Von Braunhut also marketed imaginary invisible goldfish, because why the hell not?
I’m pretty sure South Park did an episode about this guy, but I can’t really remember it.
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I could swear that one of the comic book ads showed the father sea monkey smoking a pipe underwater. Maybe I was conflating it with this ad:
Or maybe I’d seen this one somewhere:
(Finding out about the Sea Monkeys creator’s racist leanings makes this one extra funny.)
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Even as a kid seeing this in comics I noticed that the “naughty bits” of the adult Sea Monkeys were strategically covered.
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Up until about 1973, all fathers smoked pipes. I think it was actually necessary for fertility.
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Just get a Catholic priest to baptise your house “suitcase”. Easier.
At least with time my electronic junk gets smaller. But three years ago I was instructed to create a pond in the new garden - and before you know where you are there’s pumps and rainwater storage tanks and stones for things to hide under.
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Sea Monkeys taught me 2 thing’s when I was a kid:
1: Ad’s are lie’s
2: People will lie to take your money.
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What they didn’t teach i’s that apostrophe’s multiply any time they s’ee an s’ .
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That would be easier. I’ve been slowly getting rid of stuff but I have to admit it’s difficult to let go of some things. My biggest progress has been in curbing my purchasing of new stuff down to nearly zero. Take that capitalism.
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I think you’ve just nailed Trump’s new education policy. School no longer necessary, just lots and lots of un-regulated commercialism. The more kids get ripped off, the more they learn!
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