The real story of Sea Monkeys


Originally published at:


“Sea monkeys? Bunch of no-talent hacks.”–Triops


Hell yeah! Triops pwn brine shrimp.


The worst thing I can say about triops is they ate each other until the was only one. On the other hand, then I had a 2" long three eyed cannibal horseshoe crab monster.


That was a really fun piece


The worst thing?!? Triop Thunderdome is frickin’ awesome!


Sea Monkeys were my generation’s version of “fake news.”


I’m trying to reduce my stuff down to a suitcase. It’s post like above about triops that test my resolve.


Am I the only person who has never heard of Triops?

looks them up

The horror! :scream: The idea of these things eating each other fills me great dread.


Many years back I visited Mono Lake in east-central California. There were real life real live wild brine shrimp there. To adapt a line from Twain (I think), like little bits of frayed string flitting about in the thick waters.


That sonofabitch ripped me off when I was 6 years old. I just ended up with a glass full of murky water.
If I could have that buck 25 back with interest, well… I’d be rich(er).


Von Braunhut also marketed imaginary invisible goldfish, because why the hell not?

I’m pretty sure South Park did an episode about this guy, but I can’t really remember it.


I could swear that one of the comic book ads showed the father sea monkey smoking a pipe underwater. Maybe I was conflating it with this ad:

Or maybe I’d seen this one somewhere:

(Finding out about the Sea Monkeys creator’s racist leanings makes this one extra funny.)


Even as a kid seeing this in comics I noticed that the “naughty bits” of the adult Sea Monkeys were strategically covered.


Up until about 1973, all fathers smoked pipes. I think it was actually necessary for fertility.


Just get a Catholic priest to baptise your house “suitcase”. Easier.
At least with time my electronic junk gets smaller. But three years ago I was instructed to create a pond in the new garden - and before you know where you are there’s pumps and rainwater storage tanks and stones for things to hide under.


Sea Monkeys taught me 2 thing’s when I was a kid:
1: Ad’s are lie’s
2: People will lie to take your money.


What they didn’t teach i’s that apostrophe’s multiply any time they s’ee an s’ .


That would be easier. I’ve been slowly getting rid of stuff but I have to admit it’s difficult to let go of some things. My biggest progress has been in curbing my purchasing of new stuff down to nearly zero. Take that capitalism.


I think you’ve just nailed Trump’s new education policy. School no longer necessary, just lots and lots of un-regulated commercialism. The more kids get ripped off, the more they learn!