Originally published at: Trumpy Trout is real and it can hurt you - Boing Boing
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Rob saying what we were all thinking
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Looks like it was ‘designed’ by JD Vance and a no-gaurd-rails AI specifically for irrumination. Burn it with fire! On second thought, nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
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I was up too early and switching between the channels (yea I’m old and still have cable) and turned to Newsmax. A Newsweek reporter responding to a point that Harris isn’t talking about the issues, mentioned that neither is Trump and they flat out told him he was wrong. Then they chastised him for saying something about Project 2025. The Newsweek reporter was never seen again. I went back to the F1 preshow and making breakfast. Oh and they ran a ad saying how they just present the facts, no opinions, “don’t tell me what to think” is the tag line.
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Their dream of irrumation across the nation stops at Harris Station!
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Forget wall mounting! This is the perfect size for stuffing between your couch cushions!
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"It was a warm summer day in 2024, and I was mouth-fucking an animated plastic fish made to look like a former president. Don’t ask me why. It was just one of those things we did back then, something that seemed to make sense at the time. I guess that was where we were all at, psychically speaking. Pretty much everyone who had sixty bucks to spare was doing it.
The man himself was untouchable, of course. The Secret Service had him riding around in a giant box made of polycarbonate and bubble-wrap, strong enough to withstand a direct hit from a cruise missile. But for the low, low price of just $59.99 (plus shipping and handling), you could drop your pants and make his ugly fish avatar gag on your piece. It was our way of taking revenge for everything he’d put us through already, and everything we thought he might be about to put us through again."
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Just like all the other “As seen on TV” crap, nobody is buying this for themselves. They’re buying it to give to someone else.
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Trumpy Trout is a real product.
So if he isn’t already getting a cut, he’ll presumably sue. (still occasionally wonder how much he made off his trump urine test kit …$500 on ebay)
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I’m fascinated by the fact that the mouth movement is one of the bullet points yet the lips appear to barely quiver.
I’m just going to pretend we stopped at trumpy bear. (new 2024 collector’s edition!)
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For people they secretly hate.
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I’m thinking way too hard about the tails? fins? gills? emerging from the head of the T.T. like… have the makers ever seen a fish?
And then it dawned on me. They’re handlebars. 
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This is one of those things that should be on those empty prank boxes rather than a real product.
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It seems like a fake ad sketch from SNL.
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This thing really is inexplicable. If it weren’t being advertised on Newsmax, I might wonder if it was intended as a mockery of Trump, even though it doesn’t work all that well in that capacity. The ads strike me as being very weird in tone - they’re not giving anything away, not acknowledging the joke in what is clearly, regardless of politics, a joke gift. The product features are so weird, too. It’s a gag gift where I’m not sure what the gag is.
All this comparison with sex toys does have me wondering if there’s any overlap in the construction of novelty talking fishes and sex toys… if mechanisms devised for sex toys got adapted for talking fish (or the other way around), or if they’re even using some of the same parts… I could imagine some parts manufacturer of combined motor and hinge components that’s part of the supply chain for both.
Yeah, it very much has that vibe - the same over-the-top quality (even for an ad), people being weirdly delighted in what is clearly an absurd product with an inexplicable collection of features, all while pretending that in their universe, this is somehow plausible and makes some sort of sense.
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Captain Beefheart is rolling over in his grave.
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For some reason, you don’t trust this seemingly-innocent child’s toy.
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Trumpy… you can do stupid things!
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