Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/08/11/the-secret-history-of-everythi.html
…
3 Likes
In Canada, we’ve reached chip nirvana with All Dressed chips, too.
Same idea as everything bagels - all the flavours!
14 Likes
I bet the real story involves more slapstick but no bagel maker wants to admit they served customers a tray of bagels that fell on the floor.
12 Likes
Clearly you have never taken an office order for bagels, sir.
Not only are most people hella picky, but nowadays there are allergy concerns.
18 Likes
Gonna sound sterotype, but it’s true: years ago I worked for Dell, in Austin. People would bring in boxes of things for breakfast - kolaches, donuts, breakfast tacos, etc. One morning I brought in a batch of bagels. And lots of people had no idea what they were. One guy complained because they “overcooked these donuts”.
13 Likes
As a Torontonian, this amazes me, but then I remember that outside Toronto, Montreal, New York, Chicago and maybe SF/LA, bagels weren’t as much of a thing a few decades ago, I guess?
9 Likes
No I’m just saying, all those people are wrong unless they want an Everything Bagel.
…Unless they have allergies. That’s legit.
9 Likes
Everything bagels are the herpes of the bagel world. Put one in a bag of assorted bagels and they will all reek & taste like the Everything bagel. They have the flavor of asphalt road crumbs. Various bits get wedged painfully between your teeth. And, they stink up the joint that’s making them. I worked in a bagel shop for several years, and while a few customers seemed to like them, they were universally despised by the lot of us who generally knew which end was up.
Maybe someday I’ll develop a strong opinion about something, but for now this will have to do.
10 Likes
St-Viateur pour toujours!
3 Likes
Yeah… that won’t stop them from bitching and complaining at you, though.
8 Likes
A fellow relocated New Yorker friend was flying back to CA from NY and brought a dozen crusty fluffy perfect NYC everything bagels back. In his telling, a rather rude passenger in his row had a big mink coat she was wedging into the overhead and taking up a ton of space. He then proceeded to relocate his bagels to that overhead, with all of their olfactory splendor. Her mink likely didn’t make the impression she was going for when she got to her final destination. 
5 Likes
We’ve got something similar in Finland too:
(“Kaikilla mausteilla” means “With all seasonings/toppings”. In this case, it means ketchup, mustard, pickled cucumber, onion and chili.)
8 Likes
Indeed, very similar. All Dressed is ketchup (the US needs more ketchup chips!!), BBQ, salt & vinegar, sour cream & onion.
7 Likes
Ruffles had a limited edition (read: “if we sell them fast enough we will make more some day”) with nearly the same name (apparently in Canada it is an event if you merely get dressed, but in the USA we need to get all dressed up?).
My wife loved them, I had more of a “Meh” reaction. They were fine, but made me want salt n’ vinegar more as opposed more of the all dressed up. Then again I’m unreasonably fond of salt n’ vinegar.
3 Likes
I used to enjoy picking up bagels for my ex, “I’ll have whole wheat, and my girlfriend wants Everything”.
3 Likes
My friend from New York City scoffed at this, but:
(Source)
There’s a pizza parlor chain in Louisiana called Johnny’s; their supreme/deluxe/everything pizza is called “sweep the kitchen.”
Seems believable. Anyway, in my experience, even an Austin-area kolache was a jelly donut where they replaced the jelly with sausage.
Austin’s also the first place I saw an inexplicable bagel (it was in a vending machine). Ham… and cheese.
On a bagel.
I had the benefit of living on Long Island for a couple of years, as a kid. But even there it was almost always frozen bagels (e.g. Lender’s) – and after that, even in Texas, I can’t remember any supermarket that did not carry them – except for my nearest Safeway, for some reason.
2 Likes
Don’t go to Toronto. Peameal bacon, egg & cheese breakfast bagels are a mainstay there.
5 Likes
Until I left Long Island for college, I just assumed every bagel place knew to put the everything bagels in a separate bag from the rest of the order.
Personally, I also can’t stand the stuck-in-your-teeth bits. I like the flavor combo, though.
4 Likes
Just to clarify, it’s not a problem for me, just that I knew about the origin of bagels, and here I was looking at one adaptation into a breakfast sandwich…
But in all fairness, the egg is pareve, no?
2 Likes
