The ultimate guide to talking to a woman with headphones on

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This actually annoys me so, so much when it happens to me, especially on the bus when I’m trying not to be sick from the motion.


Ah Johnny Bravos of this world selling their tricks to even more socially inept specimens… That thing is toxic even to poor saps taking these advices.


I disagree - not from a pick up point of view but when I see people jogging, cycling with wires in their ears I am disbelieving that they would give up one of their senses in the cluttered modern environment of cars, buses, other cyclists, mobility scooters, dogs and toddlers!


I feel so bad for the men that sign up for the seminars. Google is failing me right now but i remember reading an article where a journalist did an exit poll of men leaving a PUA seminar and most of them are looking for love and a relationship. Not just anonymous sex. And it made me so sad. These PUA guys are preying on both sides! The women they instruct others to harass and their students!

Hilariously a coworker and i walked through a swarm of 20something proto PUAs once. They were doing a blitz downtown where they had to talk to 100 women in 2 hours. Weird comments as they barely got close enough to be heard. And negging from the get go. Amazeballs. We just laughed. I hope we skewed their numbers.


Are there not people giving classes in normal social skills? Do those just not sell as many tickets as the PuA grift?


There are date coaches and life coaches but i doubt they teach that women are weird automatons like puzzles that only they know how to solve?


The age-old marketing tactic of selling (supposed) shortcuts and exclusive methods/knowledge. Human click-bait.


Tip: If you splice a mic into their headphone cable, it makes it easier for them to hear you.

Bluetooth requires additional equipment and preparation.


There is at least one perfectly appropriate way to approach a woman with headphones:

Fire! The building is on fire!


Well I guess PUA holds a dual promise of both scoring AND venting your anger on perceived source of frustration. This in itself is scary. Anything that perpetuates implicit hate is karmic offence. On other hand teaching normal social skills promises that you will only reach a baseline of human behaviour.

From the point of view of guys needing advice how to behave around opposite sex, PUA is akin to treating cancer with homeopathy.

Me being a guy, I can’t claim I know how a woman might actually feel as a target of this sort of behaviour but two vivid mental images come to mind:

  1. being barked at by a tiny chihuahua
  2. being caught in drive-by shooting

Holy fuzz balls, Batman, I looked up the article on the interwebs, and this “dating and relationship expert” is a douche nozzle of the highest caliber. This has “I took the red pill” written all over it, what a crock of bovine colonic excretions wrapped up in a delicious equine manure wrapping. I mean, his name is Dan Bacon. Dan fucking Bacon? Seriously? Is that real or just his idea of a “manly” name to attract clients? Because everyone loves bacon, am I right… am I right… I know I am.


Why dost he sully the noble name?


Some of them might not be listening to anything, just using a visual effect of “I’m not listening to you!”

New York allows for cyclists to have one earbud in, which is a good compromise for safety. It’s not like cars are exactly quiet.


As a lady of a certain age i find PUAs laughable when I encounter them. But i also worry like fuck for my younger sisters because they’re the real target here.


My suggestion: stare at her until she notices you, then make the most hideous funny face you can-- it’s better to make a weird impression than none at all.

Although I find the best strategy is to just give up and accept that you will die alone and unloved.

  1. Pull off headphones.
  2. Inform them of the burning building.
  3. Proceed to the nearest fire exit, keeping a lookout for other stragglers.

Other than that, there isn’t a good reason.


I haven’t been single for a while, but all this makes me think of is when my wife is washing dishes listening to Judge Jon Hodgman, and I go in the kitchen to tell her something, and she gives me the low-lids stare down, and says, “This isn’t about something you read on Boing Boing, right?” …aaandd I turn right back around and go back to watching the baby in the other room.


This scenario has played out in the Roberts household a handful of times… or so.


It feels like the whole PUA thing (scene? scam?) has become a caricature of itself. When I first heard about that book The Game, it seemed like at least some guys were taking helpful messages from it: namely, that they needed to find their own self-esteem first, and that social fluency comes from practice, not magic.

Now, though. Christ. Any news about these so-called pickup artists is laughable at best, and at worst it makes your skin crawl.