The umbrella hat is a ridiculous item. Here's why it exists

A local Los Angeles car dealer, Cal Worthington, was a bit of a character in his frequent television ads during the 1960’s. At one point he offered these things he called “brackabrellas” as a reward for coming to look at one of his cars. Watching him deliver a sales pitch while wearing one remains one of my childhood memory highlights.

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Yarp!
I’m a country lad at heart, having grown up in rural Gloucestershire, and you can’t beat a good pair of Wellies.

I think my parents still have my good old green pair at their place. Some people swear by Hunters, but to be honest, you can’t really get Wellies wrong, and there’s barely a noticeable difference between a pair of Hunters and the pair of no-brand farmer’s Wellies you pick up for dirt-cheap at Countywide.

I do like a good rainproof jacket though. I did try a Craghoppers for a while, one of those that needed re-treating every so often to stay waterproof, and it was pants (UK slang for useless, a synonym of rubbish).
But the Jack Wolfskiin I picked up a few years ago has been fab. Pricey, sure, but you gets what you pay for.

In the summer, I’m likely to wear a shorts and t-shirt, even when it’s raining, my philosophy being “The less I wear, the less there is to dry off!”

Not that we actually get a summer in the UK any more. Just a slightly warmer grey & wet season, with extended daylight.
Yes, I was thoroughly disappointed with the quality of summer this year >:E

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I have a wax-cloth wide brim, I’m good.

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Speaking for Embo, and Kyozu headwear fashion in general, hats that serve a purpose are much less silly than hats that do not serve a purpose.

embo-embo-star-wars

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I worked as a treeplanter for many years, and some of my colleagues had umbrella hats. They were more about keeping the sun off your head than the rain.

I tended towards the classic bucket hat myself, but I did occasionally have umbrella hat envy.
image

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That immediately leapt to mind…

A collapsible hat, presumably. Which also exists. E.g.

They’re pretty insanely priced for a rubber boot. But they tend to be lined, which makes a large difference. The generic, dirt cheap ones tend not to be. Though there are nearly as dirt cheap lined ones. Think mine were $25, and they’re lined with the exact same material as the Hunters I’ve seen.

Otherwise the difference seems to be a better sole pattern with better grip.

Oilers are common here. Usually Grundens, occasionally Helly Hansen. At least as far as $100 rubber boots go, the Grundens seem to at least have features better justifying the price. Non-slip, steel shanks, neoprene lining that actually insulates things a bit. The cool looking ones don’t come in calf height though.

Which one is the imposter?

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Sounds like something you’d buy from a machine in a gas station bathroom.

Although if you’ve been using the same two over and over again since 2002, you should probably invest in more. Or at least wash them out and/or turn them inside out.

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Rubber boots are one of man’s finest inventions. The other is mosquito netting.

You folks all have it wrong. They’re not for rain. They are sun protection.

My spouse is highly pigment-challenged. His skin actually looks blue a lot, and he can get a sunburn in 5 minutes. (And, to match a stereotype, he’s of 100% Scots descent and has gorgeous blue eyes and strawberry-blond ringlets.)

He has many different pieces of headgear that protect the neck as well as the face. Some make him look like he joined the French foreign legion. The umbrella hat doesn’t really block the rays enough.

Despite his caution, he’s about to have surgery for a melanoma (skin cancer) on his lower eyelid. Fortunately, it was caught at 0.3 mm. Skin cancer kills! Get checked.

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And to prevent it from being blown away while, say riding on a horse or standing on the deck of a ship, and so on.

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Hat__01

I’ve been wearing one of those for the last 15 years or so when it’s sunny - it’s a paper hat (thread made from paper, stitched together).
Plus one oft those two-clips-and-a-bit-of-cord thingies you can get where they sell boating equipment when it’s windy. One clip goes on the hat, one clip goes on the shirt collar, hat doesn’t go AWOL.

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I have to work in the rain a lot, Frogg Toggs make some of the best rain gear around. I have one of their suits for the motorcycle.

I’ve been wearing this hat for years.

Pair that umbrella hat with wiper glasses and you’d really have something.

FTH101_Gray-03

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