It’s hard to be nuanced on the internet. An example of “invisibility” that immediately comes to mind is I once worked at a big-box hardware store in the plumbing dept. Over the course of a few years, most of my fellow plumbing sales associates were men, but we also had two women associates, not young. Routinely, day in, day out, they would ask customers if they needed help, and the customers would want to speak to someone “more experienced,” or who “knew about plumbing.” One of the women was in fact a plumber, and a damn good one at that. Nonetheless, they would ignore her advice and ask a kid who didn’t know a T&P valve from a vacuum breaker instead. But at least he had that special “man-knowledge” /s
I don’t know if “invisibility” is the right word, but neither of them desired that behavior in the least.
It’s called sexism. We all know what it is. Quite a few of the posters responding on this thread have spent a lifetime experiencing it.
But did you see where @TornPaperNapkin pointed out that we can’t win for losing, because if we’re not invisible, it’s because we’re being judged for our physical appeal (and nothing else)? Invisible is preferable to that.
That’s true, the definition has broadened - when I became aware of the whole “Karen” thing a few years back, it was specifically applied to middle-aged women, and the Urban Dictionary definition still shows that as the top definition.
I’m certainly not accusing anyone here of any -ism, but this is a corner of sanity in an internet of assholery. I just refuse to use a term that I see people (elsewhere) using to denigrate a group of people.
Hmm, I guess “denigrate” is accurate. But shouldn’t it depend on whether the actions of members of a group deserve to be denigrated? And isn’t a term that implies a specific set of egregious behaviors (like “Karens”) a good way to point out the egregiousness of those behaviors?
For sure, I nearly always don’t contribute to these threads (and just make dumb jokes in other threads) for that very reason - I’d rather listen to what the people who are experiencing it have to say. Just as I do IRL, where many of the people I respect most are middle-aged (and older) women. Which is why I have a hard time using Karen, personally, since I see people using it to belittle people who have had such experiences.
Hopefully nobody here thinks I’m telling them what words to use or not, just why I wouldn’t use the word this topic is about.
Absolutely agree. Ideally the term would address the abhorrent actions directly. And not let off the hook half the population (“Ken” just doesn’t have the same zing).
Men who behave like this are not just ‘let off the hook’ either; they are called ‘Darren’ or ‘Kevin’ usually.
It’s also an inaccurate, and thus pointless, parallel.
When a white woman calls the cops on a black man who doesn’t deserve that (let alone that he shouldn’t have the cops called on him in most cases, given how cops tend to treat black men), she’s weaponizing her race and gender. She does the latter, or actually the combination of both, by playing the victim.
How could a white man similarly play the victim?
Your false analogy is false.
You’re fighting an uphill battle on this one but, I do agree that it’s sexist. “Tyrone” is one of the stereotypical “names of jerks” which is used, unsurprisingly, for black people. Stacey is the cheerleading white girl. Chad is the winning jock. Stan is the parasocial nerd.
They’re all based on stereotypes and, this works quite well as a smoke-screen for racism and sexism. Interesting, Chad, the one most used to describe white males that people dislike has transformed from a thoughtless asshole to “giga-chad”, a god among mere mortals. This should be telling to people.
Anyway, you have my support. I think that personifying a name negatively is very cruel. Similarly, I avoid calling undershirts “wifebeaters” or, spectacles I think look nerdy as “pedo-glasses”. I will admit, however, that my efforts have done little to prevent others from doing the same.
There’s an important point about the direction of power in calling someone a “Karen”. An upper middle class white dude probably doesn’t have any business calling anyone a Karen. A woman who is asserting herself in a hostile work environment is not a Karen. If there are dudes who are catcalling and get a negative response, they shouldn’t be allowed to say, “You are such a Karen”. If a woman reports her supervisor to HR, he shouldn’t be saying “She is being a Karen.”
A Karen is specifically a woman who is abusing her power in a downward direction. To use the term in any other way is a sexist attempt to demean someone because she is being an assertive woman.
I only refer to my son as my “male heir” because the baggage of words like “boy” in some social circles. /s
My first name is Ken, My sister’s name is Karen.
True story.
OK, Ken 
We named my eldest Quentin and we used to call him Q. At least it’s not on any official documentation.
According to whom, exactly?
Thanks to Eminem, ‘Stan’ is a nickname for an obsessive fan.
Bottom line: words only have as much power as people choose to give them, especially proper names.
Having one’s name used as a pejorative is unfortunate, but it’s simply not on par with actual sexism, racism, or any real problem which is rooted in bigotry and apathy.
Also, it’s hard for me to ignore the apparent fact that all the White males who are so very concerned about the plight of poor persecuted women named Karen rarely (if ever) seem to have anything to say about all the sexism, ageism and misogyny suffered by BIPOC women at the hands of society at large… they only seem concerned when the victim is a White woman of a certain status.
Odd how that happens…
Just from what I know of you, I’m sure your sister is also a decent person who doesn’t willfully abuse any unearned privilege she may have.
Coincidentally, my plumber colleague is Black, and LGBTQ, and I’ve had… words… with some of my other colleagues about this shit. There’s not anything I would say about it to you, though, because what kind of white dude lectures a BIPOC person about this stuff? There is definitely a word for that I would use.
Do tell; anecdotal stories of White folks’ friends and acquaintances who happen to be Other are always so informative.
Honestly?
TOO DAMN MANY, FAR TOO MUCH OF THE TIME; that’s what kind.
Kensplaining? 
That is the exact same routine misogyny that many of us experience, sometimes on a daily basis, and sometimes right here. This has nothing to do with women using their race and gender to endanger others.
Again, it’s about specific behaviors, not lobbed at all women of a certain age.
And calling the cops on Black people who didn’t do anything wrong and have to possibility of being shot is not?
