This grinds my crackers

…into tiny glass and rare-earth shards.


Yeah, that really steams my dumplings.

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Flaps my jacks.


So many carbohydrates…how about sears my buttsteak?

canoodles your caboodle?

What happened to abiding by the Three Rs, Apple? Ecologically responsible my tuckus.

Shit like this really strips my threads.

Right?! Apple pisses me off on a good day. This? Fuckers.

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Really frosts my flakes.

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