At best, I’m an irregular contributor to BBS, so forgive me if I intrude after weeks of silence. I had some thoughts this week and therefore am succumbing to the temptation to posit: “Wonder what BBS would say?” Be gentle; this is my first such post.
I had some sympathy tonight for what it must mean to be a “man.” I was watching “Black Sails,” which, granted, is set during the 18th century pirate salad days in the Caribbean. Captain Flint goes through his most recent bout of cock-swinging hell and then arrives at his lady’s doorstep, battered and bruised. As he collapses at her door, she simply looks at him and says, “Take off your boots. I’ll boil some water.” In a moment of pure vulnerability, he slides down said door, looking lost and afraid, but yet comforted – this is clearly the place he can LET GO. I ain’t about to join the Men’s Rights Movement (those fuckers). But, for some reason, this scene resonated with me.
Simultaneously with my “Black Sails” binge, I’ve also been reading copious amounts of romance novels. I’m trying to write my own, so you know, “research.” The most popular by far are the ones with the feisty female who is tamed by the wild man (e.g., a Scots laird). I’ll be perfectly honest, those are kinda titillating for me. There are moments when I fantasize about a man pushing me up against a wall and forcing his lips to mine (again, forgive the romance novel jargon – I’m in deep).
I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot about vulnerability lately and what that means for all of us. There’s a lovely TED talk by researcher Briene Brown about vulnerability and its power (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o), but I wonder. How do gender expectations and vulnerability intersect?