Who had āDeadnamed in the first sentenceā?
Holy crap, thatās a bad article. What they hell were they thinking?
Itās the Guardian. Every good article about transgender needs to be balanced with at least ten bad stories about transgender, but not the reverse.
Who had ādeadnamed in the first and third sentencesā?
And fifth? Are you fucking kidding me?
And sixthā¦ Fuck this, Iām out.
Thread:
Iām getting really sick and tired of ārape preventionā being used as an excuse to discriminate against trans folks.
I am certain that they felt that by not misgendering her through the rest of the article, they had done a good. They were wrong.
Makes it really obvious how terfs align so seamlessly with the right. Yay you get oppression, and you get oppression, and you!
āIf we get it out of the way firstā¦ā
A serious question-how do you refer to a trans person when writing about different parts of their life?
By their preferred name and genderā¦ or, you know, ask them how youād like that handled.
Basic common courtesy isnāt rocket surgery.
Simply, trans man, trans woman. Use the name and gender they go by now. Always.
Old names are for them to offer, not for you to ask of them, some trans people are open about it and some are not. Defer to ānotā every time.
Transition affirms gender, it doesnāt change it, so the phrase āused to beā¦ā is not only wrong but potentially harmful.
As in all things, play nice.
Different strokes and all, but we use āshe was assigned male at birthā¦ā if clarification is necessary. And move on. Generally speaking, using the former name is at least a faux pax, if not outright offensive. If you are referring to a close family member or someone you share a deep history with, it can be a struggle at times, trust me on this. But in more casual or professional interactions, deadnaming is a very bad idea. It is called ādeadā naming for a reason. That name is gone and refers to no one.
Same thing with misgendering, and for the same reason.
Wtf? The two transwomen I speak to verbally on a regular basis sound much more feminine than I, a cisgendered woman, does.
Also maybe transwomen who need support would like another transwoman to talk to. I know I wouldnāt be terribly qualified to offer more than empathy and sympathy in that instance. I try to understand, but I donāt know first hand the special kind of hell transwomen must endure. That intersection of transphobia and misogyny is worse than I will ever be able to understand.
This is off topic, but Iād appreciate some advice on the whole explaining who someone was pre-transition. I was trying to explain to my daughter about her trans auntie the other day. Sheās 3, but we were talking about how many brothers and sisters her dad has. I know sheās going to hear the deadname and misgendering from her grandparents, so I want to get ahead of that. I asked some trans friends for advice, but none of them have kids. I settled for telling her that when her Auntie was born, everyone thought she was a boy. But when she got older, she realized she was a girl and had been a girl the whole time. She chose a new girl name. So her daddy has 3 sisters and 1 brother, even though everyone thought for a long time he had 2 brothers and 2 sisters.
I still canāt decide if this was ok. So, advice would be much appreciated.
ETA: I cannot ask the Aunti herself at this time. Weāre doing put best to support her but speaking to her blood family is pretty raw for her because of her parents. Weāre trying to respect her desire for some distance while she focuses on her chosen family.
Putting this here, because while itās good news, itās also focusing on debunking a common argument used bt TERFs.
The FARTs would like you to believe that all trans women are dudes with beards, pink wigs, and rolled up socks for tits, and gravelly baritone voices. Oh, and theyāre only doing this so they can see women pee, for whatever reason. Not that I think they believe that either. They just think everyone listening to them is stupid.
I am in no way qualified to comment on this, really.
But I do want to say that 3-year-old me could have worked with your explanation just fine.
