Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/06/22/toddler-trapped-in-a-tesla-after-its-battery-discharged.html
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That rumbling sound you hear is all the TSLA fans galloping over to explain that the procedure isn’t all that complicated if you would actually take a time out and read the manual already.
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Stupid toddler – couldn’t read the manual or find the manual latch. What does she need, for it to be painted bright yellow so she knows it exists?
[As I understand it, every comment in this topic must mention the word “manual”. Looking forward to the gifs.]
A note to them: yes we know you’re proud of the shiny all-electric car o’ the future (pay no attention to the fit and finish or not really FSD) for which you paid a premium; yes, you put a lot of money into TSLA stock and want to believe the hype will continue long past the time every other manufacturer has gotten into the EV game; or perhaps you’re one of the few remaining holdouts who thinks Musk is a technology and business genius.
We understand. None of that changes the fact that this is a real, serious, design flaw.
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I’m pretty sure the manual clearly states: “No toddlers!”
It’s on page one, people!
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That’s unfair. It’s not “no toddlers” it’s just that having babies is totally free and easy so there’s no reason to rush when one is hurt or dying. Elon simply suggests calmly waiting till the baby dies of heat exhaustion or starvation/stress. The mother may be stressed too by this so if she’s not already pregnant and giving birth by this point his suggestion is to off her too if you don’t have a good prenup and nda on her already.
Then he suggests that you can just grab another woman (preferably you should have her raised at the Tesla factory where the only thing they are allowed to learn is the Tesla manual). You can buy one of these too but they cost almost as much as the battery because trafficking is still somewhat frowned on. They’re going to be cheaper soon once he can get the implants working. You’ll mostly be paying for tech at that point.
Basically when you get the battery replaced according to Elon it should be much cheaper to just replace a child or wife or two as well as any useless bystanders/passengers.
Anyway it’s very clear and easy to read.
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That’s why Musk tells people to have a lot of kids: redundancy! /s
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The manual is under the seat, Red Two!!
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On the stock I wonder. I mean people can keep a stock high as long as they want to. The whole payout thing strikes me that way. After so much dissent I really wonder if all of the shareholders who might have been trying to push the brand in the direction they wanted have sold at ath and rotated into saner stocks that won’t give them heartburn every time Elon tokes up or has a fight with one of his lebensborn.
Which makes me think what’s left are the zealots, his minions, and rubes who are late to the party. And they can make A LOT of money, in theory forever, until the rubes get too broke or dead. So… there’s no reason the stock may even go down. Ironically this should cause more people to buy in too.
Anyway I guess my point is, while I don’t own any stock there one would probably be overall safer holding the stock than buying and driving in a tesla!
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Toddler with a Model S car. Photo: Reuters, 2016
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Sanchez reports that the car’s battery died without warning.
clearly need a series of batteries to provide power for the warning that the preceding battery had died. (“…or, y’know, there could be a purely mechanical sort’ve door latch on the inside” “Quiet, you!”)
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What, are you suggesting a… manual… release???
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Did the toddler read the manual? Did the mom? Did the firefighters? /s
Also, how did the battery just… DIE all of a sudden?
Also, contributed by Jennifer Sandlin…
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Ah, Mindy, you never disappoint us.
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There should be one, but that would not have helped in this situation because a baby probably can’t operate that.
It’s maybe a bit unfair towards Tesla because other electric cars have similar flaws. Mine does have a manual lock on the driver’s side, but auto-locks the doors in several situations, also when driving, which is a fucken nuisance and also extremely dangerous in case of an accident. Also people who had a heart attack or a stroke have died because of that. There’s no way to turn that off.
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Oh I’m fairly certain that quite a few people find me a disappointment…
But…
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Because they’re locked out of their cars?
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Most sane vehicles have a manual key inside the key fob and a hidden (or open) keyhole to use that to mechanically open in these situations. It’s also required in case the fob runs out of battery (which is much more common)…
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THIS!
Like this… (but in my case my key slides out of the fob without removing its cover).
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What, they didnt have a submarine to send in to rescue the kid?
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