Translation of 'Creep Qawwali'

I couldn’t find a translation of "Creep Qawwali’ ( Creep Qawwali: Hilarious musical video about sleazy dudes on Facebook - Boing Boing ), so I made my own. Please note that I don’t really speak Hindi, so Google Translate did most some of the heavy lifting and I just used common-sense translation correction (though I did try to keep rhymes intact). Some of this may be a tad off-base, but I have tried my best.

Anything in [brackets] is sung/said by a chorus member or the full chorus.

"TrulyMadly presents: Creep Qawwali

Red Team:
Aaaaaaah, Mr. Zuckerberg, when Facebook was his invention
[chorus member mutters something about Orkut]
There was one thing he forgot to mention

There are two folders in each inbox
One is for friends’ messages
And creeeeeeeps go in the other!

When I saw the other folder
Couldn’t believe my eyes!
There were fifty messages
From all the (???) guys

I opened the first message
It was a revelation:
“hey thr u lukn gr8888888888…”
[Eight eight, eight eight, eight eight eight eight eight exclamation!]

Oh, silly boy
[Hey naive child]
Who the hell are you?
[Who are you? Who are you? Who are yooooou?— Hey, hang on, hang on, he’s typing.]

Message:
oh beb ur relly kewt… come 2 handsum (??? - no translation)

Red Team:
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL LMAO
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL LMAO
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL LMAO
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL

Oh, my other folder has convinced me
The Internet has no shortage of (lotharios) (guesswork, the original word is like ‘lover’ but there’s an odd suffix on the end)
There’s no creep creepier than my creep (surmise)
There’s no creep creepier than my creep
There’s no creep creepier than my creep

Blue Team:

Aaaaaactually your creep isn’t even a legit creep
For mine, he is someone, my mooooooom would like to meet
[Wah! What a burn!] / [Burned, by god!]

In the evening, I went home after a long day at work
[Good?]
Under my building, there stood a jerk
[Hmm!]
The next day he was there again
He’d become the night watchman
[What?]
He’d become the elevator man!
[No!]
Morning and evening, day and night
[Haww!]

The next day, the pizza delivery boy said something really shady
[Really shady, really shady, what he said was really shady]
“I deliver your pizza… will you deliver my baby?”

Therefore, your Facebook creep is nowhere
I can bet you my creep’s hiding here somewhere!
In my neighborhood! In my neighborhood
there’s no shortage of (lotharios)

There’s no creep creepier than my creep
There’s no creep creepier than my creep
There’s no creep creepier than my creep

Red Team:
Oh, there’s no creep creepier than my creep!

Blue Team:
There’s no creep creepier than my creep!

Red Team:
(something about her creep’s hands - sorry, couldn’t get a read on this at all)

Blue Team:
(also something about her creep’s hands)

Red Team:
He’s planned our wedding!

Blue Team:
He’s named our children!

Red Team:
My Whatsapp creep sent a pic of his ass!

Blue Team:
My Whatsapp creep sent a pic of his ####!

Red Team:
He tags my photos!

Blue Team:
Mine also tags my photos!

Red Team:
His profile pic is an expensive car!

Blue Team:
Mine’s profile pic is also an expensive car…!

Red Team:
Mine ‘affectionately’ calls me ‘nightingale!’ (I may have messed up on this sentence)

Blue Team:
Mine also nicknamed me ‘nightingale’!

Red Team:
Does your creep’s name start with an ‘S’?

Blue Team:
Does your creep’s last name start with a ‘K’?

Red Team:
Suresh?

Blue Team:
Kumar?

(The two realize what has been going on.)

Red Team:
In this world!

Blue Team:
In this world!

Everybody:
In this world there’s no shortage of lotharios!
There’s no creep creepier than our creep!
There’s no creep creepier than our creep!
There’s no creep creepier than our creep!
There’s no creep creepier than our creep!
There’s no creep creepier than our creep!"

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lol, they actually say ROFL LMAO, phonetically.

missed this in my feed. why no embed, OP?

maybe “que paso (something)” typed internet style? probably not, but sounded like it when it was sung.

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I did some more digging/dictionary checking. Turns out it means ‘come to’, so the full sentence is ‘Come to handsome!’ [I’ve edited the translation apropriately.]

You can see why they were ROFLing.

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