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Iām no athlete, but Iām pretty sure this shit isnāt what you eat if you want to maintain your athleticism. Yet Trump insists that this must be Clemson Footballās favorite food.
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Apparently most of the White House staff, including most (or maybe all) of the kitchen and service staff are furloughed as inessential due to the shutdown.
This is how Trump eats all the time. Heās got a long, well documented history of preferring fast food above all else. Particularly McDonaldās and KFC.
He also famously eats his steak well done and wonāt go near a vegetable.
Heās also purportedly a germophobe. And I gotta say Iāve known some serious hypochondriacs and compulsive hand washing types. And they all really, genuinely believed that large fast food chains were the only safe place to obtain food you didnāt prepare yourself. Apparently because they wouldnāt be allowed to be McDonaldās big if they werenāt clean. Right? I mean right? That wouldnāt be allowed right?
Trumpās making a very big deal about paying for this out of pocket because the Whitehouse canāt. He made the sacrifice of having this event catered due to the shut down. For America!
Fucking big spender.
Purportedly enough of them to require these events be catered and payed for without the White House budget.
But then this may not be the first time heās done this.
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heās just excited to have all the football players there because locker room talk is his favorite.
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āIf itās American, I like it,ā he says.
Maybe this is, in part, a lame attempt to deflect the āTrump Is A Russian Assetā idea thatās finally getting some sort of mainstream-news traction.
Maybe itās not lame. Maybe it will work on the people who matter. Maybe it will produce some rah-rah-USA on Fox News.
What a time to be alive.
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But heās into golden showers? More Shā¦ I canāt wrap my brain around. How can you be a germophobe that likes hanging out with hookers and exchanging any bodily fluidā¦
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Well if I remember the pee tape rumor he paid those women to pee on the bed not on him.
But Iāve also noticed, from my big interest in true crime. That an awful lot of sociopaths, serial killers, and pathological sexual predators. Have serious cleanliness ticks. And lash out at their victims and sexual partners after sexual contact because itās dirty, and contaminates or disgraces the perpetrator.
Soā¦
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I cannot wait to see what Colbertās Late Show does with this.
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On that table you have the whoās who of fast food poison, and yes I work in a laboratory daily testing this fucking shit for pathogens / bacteria / whateverthefuck, itās a good day when we only have one or two come up dirty.
That A / 100% on the placard from the local Health Department is to put your mind at ease, and thatās about all.
Please do not eat fast food, itās fast, but it aināt food.
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Hey! You call him Mr. President!
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I should note that, at one point tonight, President Trump said he bought 300 hamburgers. Later, he claimed he bought 1,000 hamburgers.
When asked to explain the discrepancy, President Trump replied āMmphthmpg!ā
He probably filled up a few fridges with the overflow in case SHTF later on.
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Should I know where Clemson is?
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I had the same thought, but now I wonder if the Secret Service would ever allow such a thing. There may be a lot of hoops for a caterer to jump through. It may not be permissible on short notice.
But of course that just creates more questions: What are the security implications of hauling a van-load of least-common-denominator fast food to the White House? Some poor schmuck toiling away at a deep fryer for $9/hour is feeding the president and doesnāt know?
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Specifically the bed that President Obama had slept in during some visit of his. If it happened it was part of his obsession with Barack Obama.
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If it wasnāt permissible why the hell would fast food be? Iād assume that the government has past associations with caterers whoāve already passed security checks. I doubt the randos working at your average McDonaldās have gotten a basic security clearance already.
Besides, Trump planned to do this. And he told everyone he was planning to do so. And in the coverage it sounds like this might not have been the first time he served fast food burgers to White House visitors. This is just the sort of shit heās into. Trump is a Big Mac on a silver god damned platter kind of monster. Hell I vaguely remember him bragging about getting more Big Macs than Chris Christie, because more important something something. Or some shit. Maybe it was Papadopoulos.
The White House pecking order is apparently determined by who gets what size, and how many cheap drive through trash burgers.
Youāre right. Those hookers were 100% murdered.
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I hate this stupid world we live in. I hate it so much.
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That pic of him with the hamburgers NEEDS to be his āPresidentialā Portraitā¦
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No sadly, weāre not; because even Prez Dwayne āElizondo Mountain Dew Herbertā Camacho was smart enough to realize he didnāt have all the answers, and humble enough to ask for help from someone smarter than himself.
Our reality is much less funny and far more horrific than Mike Judge ever imaginedā¦
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I donāt think anything more surreal could possibly top this.
No one could even dream such insanity perfectly framing Donald Trump as president.
President of the United States, a man who literally sold shitty steaks by postal mail, in the middle of the longest shut down in American history, filling the White House table with Big Macs and baconators literally on Silver platters and sweet and sour sauce in silver gravy dishes. Served by a man with the fake tan made of powdered cheetos, bragging about and lying about buying 3x as much cheap shity fast food as the ruler of the Free World. Saying āEverything I like that you likeā and he loves American food, as an unprecedented investigation continues on his collusion with Russia.
This is Idiocracy. Its real now. I canāt even believe this is real, but it is. I have no more words to frame this, my head is going to explode as reality falls into our black hole.
Excuse me, Iām going to go drink about 6 shots of 100 proof bourbon. Everything I see will be more believable after that.
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