Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2021/01/21/president-biden-removes-trumps-mysterious-red-button-from-the-oval-office.html
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I forgot about that since that was new info like 4000 years ago.
That was the longest 4 years of my life.
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12 cans of soda, per day???
Diet or not, that shit is beyond unhealthy.
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In the course of a day the portly menace routinely drinks a dozen cans of the sugar and fat free carbonated beverage
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We can but hope. Personally, I’m hoping a Florida alligator will get him while he’s playing golf.
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I’ve had my fingers crossed for that orange fucker to have a debilitating stroke for ages now, but a heart attack will also suffice.
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Dude couldn’t outrun a can of coke, I’d totally bet on the gator.
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That’s a horrible fate to wish on the alligator, isn’t it?
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Hells yeah, you’d bet on the gator; those things are freakin’ FAST.
Even Usain Bolt would be hard pressed to get away, and 45 is NO Usain Bolt…
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THAT fast? Yet another reason to never play golf in Florida.
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I mean, the swampy, camouflaged ground doesn’t help, any; but yeah, they can really move…
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“President Eaten By An Alligator” would be a most fabulous headline.
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Seems kind of cruel to the alligators.
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How about “President Killed By Alligators. Remains uneaten.” ?
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I much prefer “Ex-President Killed by Alligators.” (It’s been a wild but productive week!)
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Do you know who else like servants delivering Coke?
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But otherwise he was a model of a healthy lifestyle, right? I mean there were all those videos of him jogging and eating greens and taking the coronavirus seriously.
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Yeah, for very short bursts (basically extended lunges), alligators supposedly can reach top speeds that would outstrip Usain Bolt by a few miles an hour. Their normal running speed is a fraction of that, slow enough that anyone reasonably fit (who saw them coming) could outrun them, but still more than fast enough that Donald Trump would be unable to waddle away, laden down as he is by all those diet cokes and big macs.
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