I am not the most miled traveler, but for many years I was getting on a plane every week or two.
My hydration spray was called water, and my slip off shoes were called shoes 
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Flyer: I’d like a ticket to Chicago
Ticketing agent: Would you like that with or without sexual assault
Flyer: What’s the difference?
Agent: $179 but you won’t be assaulted for a full year.
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And were any of the weapons that they missed tucked under anyone’s balls? I thought we were in the age of data driven decision making…
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Another country we’re banning, now? They’re lovely people:
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They must be controlled!
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Or maybe you came across a screener who used their brain.
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you monster
eta: just realised you made the same joke. 11 hours earlier. sigh.
eta2: and @Footface. 12 hours earlier. weekend please? like now?
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Hey, that’s me! I’ve never stepped foot in one of them!
Indeed. That was a comment…
…I’m guessing. I actually have no idea what that was supposed to be.
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Ahahaha… nope. Just careless.
I also used to travel every week for work, and I’d left stuff in my bag that just slipped by. Knives, liquids, gels, I was a complete sociopath with no respect for arbitrary rules. I once flew with a full tube of toothpaste and had used about 2/3 of it by the time TSA caught on 
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I win!
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They do in fact! I suggested this once to a customer of mine who wanted to let his aged parent visit her relatives in Italy one last time, but he was sure wouldn’t fly there.
Here is a link… http://www.cunard.com/cruise-types/transatlantic-cruises/
You could book on a freighter, but that looks sketchier to me…(link deleted by me, because sketchy).
This is not a bad idea (except I am worried I might get seasick), perhaps a dirigible.
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Making the same joke!? You monster!
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You think you win? You Manster!
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humourless German. I HAVE to steal jokes.
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Oh, Germans aren’t humourless.
…
You monster 
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On another board I saw a suggestion as to what’s really going on that makes a lot of sense. They are tired of the people opting out of the scanners and have made the alternative repugnant enough that they hope to put a stop to it.
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But we’re not taken out of the pool. I have pre-chek and am routinely selected at random for additional screening, including the “back of the hand on the crotch” check described in this article.
The people taken out of the pool are people who can fly on their own private jets. Not frequent commercial fliers. There is no mechanism to escape the full scope of TSA invasiveness if you are flying commercial, regardless of how many programs you join, the class in which you fly, or how much money you have in the bank.
This may seem petty but I think it’s extremely important that we be rigorous about facts given the amount of lying and hyperbole coming from the other side.
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Duly noted that your anecdote is structured in the same fashion as how Fox talking heads rant about welfare recipients.
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