Turkeys attacking cops

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Turkeys don’t give a fuck.

The day after thanksgiving I was driving home from my kid’s house and at the edge of their residential area were 3 turkeys on the side walk and several more behind them in the trees.

I stopped to take a pic and one went around the front of my car to my door, almost close enough for me to wring its neck.

I’ve been hunting other things and found dozens of them standing around. What’s funny is when you actually want to hunt turkeys you have to camo all up and learn to cal them in. (So hear, I have never turkey hunted.)


[insert ad hominem joke about Ted Cruz resembling a turkey here]


Apologies to Sandra Boynton

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I see no actual “attacks” - just a bunch of people getting flustered by a bird getting too close for comfort.

Yep, I would certainly back away also, but nobody was actually assaulted. Disappointingly.


Turkeys are mean M* Fr’s. Seriously, there’s a good reason we eat the bastards on Thanksgiving.

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Got hundreds of these babbling critters in our wooded neighborhood. In the streets, front yards, back yards, strutting into garages, and generally just hanging out in the rain. They don’t harass us at all. But I’ve got a golf club ready if they ever do.

We also have a sizable pack of robust Eastern Coyotes and some remarkably skilled red-tailed hawks. The turkey population stays level.


After 100’s of years of late November abuse, Turkeys fight back.

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If you haven’t watched this, don’t. I cannot believe they’ve made it to Thankskilling 3.

Gobble gobble motherf***ers.

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Thank you, thank you. I have not laughed so hard in years. I will send the rescue squad and resuscitation bills straight to you.

No one mentioned Gobbles yet?

Once again I am disappointed in BB…


What I find fascinating is that there is a TV show called “The Fuzz” dedicated to police dashcam videos. How did that footage end up on TV anyway?

I’m guessing that some enterprising producers wrote to a bunch of police departments and told them that they could make some extra money by selling their old dashcam videos, presumably ones where there is some sort of scuffle with a potential offender.

Kinda reminds me of this:

Third video, I jut though it was funny that she was sitting there, trapped in a car, with which she could trivially have run it over.

Nature: Here’s dinner that runs to you! You’re welcome, stupid apes.

Humans: Help!!!


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