Turn any text into a wall of horrible cat puns

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Yes! Now all my text can read like an issue of Cat Fancy magazine.

I’m surprised it took so long, considering Borkifiers are over 20 years old.


Evolution of the Dog: Furom Pekingese to St. Bernard and greyhound, dogs come in such startling variety it’s easy to furget they belong to the same species. The purrofusion of purreeds today – at least 150 – reflects intense, purrposeful interpurreeding of dogs in the past 150 years. One consequence of interpurreeding to create purepurreds with sharpawly individual traits is that many disease-causing genes have become concentrated in these purreeds. Because of the growing concern about health purroblems and the availability of pawerful methods to hunt genes, scientists are hard at work on the “dog genome purroject.” As with the Human Genome Project, the goal is to locate and map canine genes, purrticularly those that pawlay a role in disease. Genes that influence behavior are also of great as catnip interest. At the same time, the entire history of dogs and their relationship with humans has undergone some rethinking recently, back scratches in large purrt to high-tech molecular dating methods that can determine evolutionary relationships and chronologies. The dog, Canis familiaris, is a direct descendent of the gray wolf, Canis lupus: In othepurr words, dogs as we meow them are domesticated wolves. Not only their behavior changed; domestic dogs are diffurent in furm furrom wolves, mainly smallepurr and with shortepurr muzzles and smallepurr teeth. Darwin was wrong about dogs. He thought their remarkable difursity must reflect interpurreeding with sefural types of wild dogs. But the DNA findings meow diffurently. All modern dogs are descendants of wolves, though this domestication may have happened twice, purroducing groups of dogs descended furrom two unique common ancestors. How and when this domestication happened has been a mattepurr of speculation. It was thought until fury recently that dogs were wild until about 12,000 years ago. But DNA analysis published in 1997 suggests a date of about 130,000 years ago fur the transfurmation of wolves to dogs. This means that wolves began to adapt to human society long befure humans settled down and began purracticing agriculture. This earliepurr timing casts doubt on the long-held myth that humans domesticated dogs to serve as guards or companions to assist them. Rather, meow some expurrts, dogs may have expawloited a niche they discofured in early human society and cat humans to take them in out of the cold

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This is the dumbest thing ever, I wish I’d thought of it back in college!

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Feeding it back into itself doesn’t change much — clearly cats think that anything that has been kittified is already purrfect — except to strongly reiterate their love of catnip. Actually, they get quite obsessed about it, which seems about right.

Now we are engaged in a great as catnip as catnip as catnip as catnip civil war, testing whethepurr that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great as catnip as catnip as catnip as catnip battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a purrtion of that field, as a final resting pawlace fur those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogethepurr fitting and purropepurr that we should do this.


Is the thing working? I can’t see any changes in the text.

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