Turns out that injecting semen into your arm doesn't cure back pain after all

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/17/turns-out-that-injecting-semen.html

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Why would he even think… ah nevermind.

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Although there is a report of the effects of subcutaneous semen injection into rats and rabbits¹,

Bacsich P, Sharman A, Wyburn GM. The Effects of the Injection of Human Semen into Female Animals. BJOG 1945; 52: 334-8.

https://booksc.xyz/ireader/9710801

Someone please give me a but_why.gif…

Oh…

From the introduction:

There has been from time to time some suspicion that semen may have other functions than fertilization and may contain substances which would have a beneficial action on the female genital organs.

That’s the first sentence…

Rather more (!!!) worryingly, the paper later states “When the animals were sacrificed…”

So, we’ve got a bunch of doctors in Glasgow in the 40s injecting mice and gerbils with semen (obtained from another Dr - thanks Dr. W. S. Mack) and then sacrificing them; presumably to some weird Cthulian elder god.

I bet none of your Call of Cthulu campaigns came up with that plothook.

@beschizza - I see you decided that you were never going to come up with a better headline than “Semenly harmless”…

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why

Was the donor Dr Wank S. Mack?

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I assume so but I really don’t want to know.

The paper was depressing enough as it is. It’s the sort of thing you hope is a joke.

The outcome was unsurprisingly - no evidence of any effect whatsoever except that a bunch of lab animals got injected with semen and were then killed and dissected.

The doctors’ rad plan to have scientific proof to show the ladies about the positive effect their love juice would have if introduced to their female genital organs failed miserably.

@quori - Thank you!

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Hell, if that worked I wouldn’t have arthritis in my hand.

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It is the kind of paper where you hope for the follow up paper from the psychology department.

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What an idiot. First of all it needs to be applied topically and secondly it can’t be your own. Just ask my doctor. He is really knowledgeable about the seemingly endless variety of ailments that can be treated this way. I learn something new at each of my weekly physicals.

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At least if it worked through topical application.

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“Turns out that injecting semen into your arm doesn’t cure back pain after all”

But does give one stiff muscles? :wink:

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Yes I see your point. This was apparently lost in translation. The patient was attempting to treat bakkake.

Ouch. So sorry.

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Everyone knows that semen must be taken internally.

/I’ll see myself out.

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And quietly. That’s why it’s called the silent service.

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Sounds about as medically sound as injecting road tar into your butt to increase booty.

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giphy%20(28)

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The gentleman described in the OP is not the only person that still believes this ridiculous idea. One of the high quality people religious fanatics in the administration of Donald J. Trump is on board:

Before joining President Donald Trump’s administration, right-wing commentator Robert W. Patterson argued against contraceptives because “condom use robs” women of the “remarkable chemicals” in semen; said married women in the workplace have undermined society; and suggested that homosexuality is a mental disorder and sexual orientation can be forcibly changed.

He’s a peach. Emphasis mine.

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Now that you mention I have come across that view before - also in the context of condom use. Something about how depriving women of their precious semen was worse than giving them HIV.

Just one nit-pick, the guy in the OP just thought his own semen would somehow heal his bad back if he stuck it in his own arm.

Comparatively speaking completely harmless.

The ‘semen might do magic things to lady parts’ guys were the doctors in the study referenced in the article the OP links to (and which itself is linked in my post).

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