UK government sends 40,000 texts to semi-random foreigners (and some Brits): "You are required to leave the UK!"

boing
21

Are you Scottish and reading this?
Are you still going to vote no?

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22

Fuck that noise. I’d cheerfully hang Dacre et al with their own intestines.

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23

Honestly, it’s canny here. Most of us are really nice. Theresa May is horrible even by the standards of awful people, that’s all.

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24

If they get independence, I’m claiming fucking asylum. It’s only up the road. hell, the border’s been well south of where I am once or twice…

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OK, here’s the plan. England is obviously collapsing under the terrible weight of immigrants. How about if 5.3 million of the UK population “emigrate” and form an independent country? That should make plenty of room.

If you live in Scotland, you can sign up for this plan on September 18th 2014.

If you don’t like this plan, take a long hard look at Theresa May. She’s the Home Secretary. That could be your Prime Minister one day. Imagine what fun that would be in a UK separated from the EU, with the human rights act repealed.

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26

Howard, Straw, Blunkett, Clarke, Reid…

There must be something about the job that attracts utter turds.

27

Nah, we like the English. It’s mostly their crazy outdated undemocratic system of government we’re sick of.

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28

I reckon it’s used as a poison chalice for those who you never want to be PM…

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29

Thank your government and its “welcoming” attitudes.

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Simon Heffer: Not ony a journalist, but a biographer. Notably, in “Like the Roman”, of Enoch Powell, whose “Rivers of Blood” speech in the early '70’s put an end to his promising career in the Tory party. Heffer is a racist posing as a nationalist who lionizes racists.

(edit: In fact, here’s how Powell used “Like the Roman”:

Like the Roman, I seem to see “the River Tiber foaming with much blood”.

So the title of Heffer’s biography is a coy, but direct, reference to the very powerful image Powell used to evoke the fear of a future racial conflict.)

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31

“You have been attainted for imagining the death of the Queen. Report to Tyburn immediately.”

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32

I imagine the US state of Arizona would be willing to hire Capita to perform exactly the same service, and would spend state funds to defend a mere 1% rate of false positives.

(With apologies to Arizonans who have a rational/humane opinion about immigration. I sincerely hope you are more successful at the polls than you have been lately.)

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33

Dude that makes exactly no sense. This is how I imagine the death of HRH

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34

An immigration advisor was just on the beeb (BBC, if you are outside UK borders and thus utterly incapable of anything other than dribbling and having free surgery) - Mr something Chan. Oriental fellow. He got the text on his mobile phone.

What’s a little more revealing is that he claims not to have submitted any applications to the Home Office for 30 years. 30 years ago, not many people had mobile phones.

So how the fuck did they connect the dots? Well, that much is obvious - they’ve created a massive dataset.

Trouble is (if that wasn’t troubling) they’ve now done exactly one of the things that most concerns me - not only isolating a section of society using data, but being so thorough as to cross-reference people like Chan.

My wife is Chinese. We’re laughing.

Anyone got suggestions for somewhere else to live? I like surfing.

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35

Oh and Theresa May - what an atrocity of a politician. Cameron is clearly using her to distract the populace while he gets up to nasty stuff.

Whenever I think of TM I also think of that caustic flavour and pre-vomit sensation. I don’t know if the two are linked - “correlation isn’t causation”.

Then I am sick.

36

Move to Newquay, campaign for Cornish independence. Does Mebyon Kernow let grockles join?

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37

I’m also getting tired of the BBC’s spit-licking coverage as well, like this:

Ever since the debacle 10 years or so ago, the BBC has been on a very tight leash. It’s sad.

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38

I think she mispoke - she seems to have got the s and the t inversed in that last little bit.

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You’ll be okay if you’re Chinese. Apparently, we want more Chinese to visit the UK, as long as they buy lots of handbags. Or something, I don’t quite understand it myself…

41

I’m surprised anyone got a fucking text if it was Capita did it…

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