Understanding MRAs


Continuing the discussion from Will feminists return to the forums?:

I think this deserves its own topic:

I think this is only a part of it. Not everybody deals with their emotions the same way just because they’ve never learned to deal with their emotions, while the range of responses of MRAs is too narrow to leave to chance


I need to be honest, when I was skimming through the BBS I saw “Dissecting Understanding MRAs” as “Dissecting Understanding MREs” and got super fucking excited. For some reason they have always intrigued me… anyways we were talking about crazy dudes, right?


Do we want to kill them first? Or should we change the topic to vivisecting MRAs?


Can we change the thread title to understanding MRAs? Let’s don’t dissect anyone — even MRAs.





I know!


Agreed though the socialized response to emotions for boys is part of the answer — not just the lack of social support for expressing and naming feelings beyond anger and . . . well, basically, sometimes it’s just anger.

That ritualized, heteronormative social violence against and by boys is normed as natural — like the weather.

So boys often experience and/or expect to experience significant violence before and during adolescence. Violence is anticipated by boys in the imaginary and actual contexts of competitive athletics, military service, hazing, etc. We also know that roughly 1 in 6 boys experience that violence as sexualized, i.e. child sexual assault.

The general refusal to socially acknowledge and name emotions — to the point that the response is internalized by boys — is also socialized as “normal” experience.


MRA > MRE every time


I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one.


I was told that the secret is to bring lots of hot sauce and instant onion soup packets.


I have heard that some MRAs survive only on MREs. I mean it’s basically cannibalism, but hey, who am I to judge?


And an appetite; there’s a shitload of calories in those things. I once fed myself for a week off a single 24hr ration pack.


You can’t understand MREs, since they are misterees by definition.


I have a close friend that nowadays is probably sympathetic to MRAs (and quite possibly MREs). He started out as somewhat of a feminist, but through a long, long series of Bad Life Decisions has run himself into the ground.

And he externalizes his problems. He has emotional baggage–his fathers suicide was tragic–and he has always had a nack for finding crazy people (which iswhy we are friends), but the resulta of Bad Life Decisions is rarely ever His Fault.

So he blames others, specifically the women in his life. Which is infuriating to watch–no matter how many times we argue, and no matter how logical or evidence based I present the Hypothesis, its still not his fault. It’s his ex wife, or mother, or step mother, or ex girlfriend, etc. Then he usually calls me a Fecking C, and I tell him I love 'em too.

It’s impossible to argue with anger.


I’m sure understanding that that vague discomfort you feel is not anger but sadness would go a long way to helping people in every part of their life. But I actually think MRAs understand their frustration with life, they just don’t know where its actually coming from.

As white men, who should have it great, have it increasingly worse as the income gap widens everywhere, they are going to wonder why the hell they can’t feel hapy at the top of the proverbial food chain. MRA’s act like jerks and they deserve to be on the receiving end of some high octane, nuclear grade karma (like winning a lifetime supply of MRE), but they are probably as much manifestations of the failings in society as they are jackasses that won’t learn from their mistakes.

Something about an MRA with a peanut butter MRE on his dick: He’s fucking nuts!


Yeah, and it is heart breaking to see it happen to someone you care about. I keep wanting to scream, “you know you don’t have to be alone, old, and angry!!”


Or trauma.

Trauma can sometimes be treated by creating a sense of emotional safety, followed by a healing relationship, e.g., therapy.


Certainly. And to the extent that I could (along with others) that is what we did. There was about a two year period where he was engaging positively with his therapist, drug counsellor, friends and family. But then… Baaaaackslide.

Being a human is rough.


Being a human is rough.

Much suffering.


Relapse, decompensation is normal … and hard.