Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/03/19/unsolicited-penis-photos-land-uk-man-behind-bars-in-first-cyberflashing-case.html
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Trust me, if you watch it past the first verse it’s relevant.
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Why do so many men insist upon showing women and girls their ignoble affairs?
Last time I saw an old acquaintance, let’s call him Scoob since that’s what he goes by, we had our usual uncomfortable conversation. He doesn’t communicate very well: he’s a living example of most geekly stereotypes, altho I admit to questioning his intelligence. We were attending Detroit’s famed Cass Corridor end-of-Summer festival, The Dally in the Alley, which takes place the Saturday after Labor Day.
This time, our uncomfortable conversation mostly ended when, after mumbling several completely incoherent sentences as he frequently did, he showed me a phone pic of his ignoble affair. I turned away in justified disgust, and told nearby women friends what he’d just done. A pair I couldn’t immediately get to was my pal S and her then-16-y-o daughter. Scoob moved as if to show them, but thankfully S saw the horrified look I intended for her and her daughter, and S got her kid and herself out of potential harm’s way.
The main harm would’ve been directed at Scooby, whose ass S would have thoroughly kicked right there and then, in front of God and everybody.
I spat at Scoob, “She’s sixteen! you fucking creep!” and those were my last words to him. No one would even look at him anymore, and he eventually got it and slunk off.
Should I ever be approached by him again, I intend to say, “Stay the fuck away, you fucking creep!”
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Very fair.
And I do hope the fellow gets working on understanding why shunning, ass-kicking, and jail time are fair responses.
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He shoulda got his ass kicked for even contemplating showing anyone that image w/o consent, let alone a 16 year old girl!
Had she been pressed to do so, I have no doubt the cops would have hauled him away, and merely got statements from S and us.
I haven’t seen him in years, which is great.
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Yep. Revolting.
But examples of offline disgusting behaviour like this are rare compared to the extremely high prevalence of it online, no? That’s what makes the cyberflashing thing mysterious for me at least.
There’s been some research on this:
This study revealed that the main reasons men send dick pics are for those of transaction (‘I’ll show you mine and you show me yours’) or partner hunting (‘you’ve seen my dick, let’s hook-up’).”
But I’m almost certain that the vast majority of those who send such pictures would not also be flashing strangers (as an opening gambit??!) offline, on the street, or at dinner parties etc. So it doesn’t really add up.
My amateur opinion if I analyse my own (male) mind is that the Internet is like alcohol - it removes social barriers. So as a man, you think, “I love to see women’s ignoble affairs. And women are human just like me, so they must love to see men’s ones. But society oppresses women to make them pretend they don’t. But that oppression doesn’t happen on the Internet, so when I send them this picture they will be free to let me know how much they appreciate it!”
But that too doesn’t quite add up, because you’d expect the total lack of any success (And again, as an opening gambit!! That does so blow my mind and I refuse to believe it has any success) would have some kind of … educating effect?
I have absolutely no interest in analyzing such behavior, I am merely an amateur shrink for my friends. I don’t give a shit why they do it, nor what’s going on in their tiny little heads when they do it, they just need to stop doing it. It’s an attack, plain and simple.
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Flashers exist in meatspace as well. The internet just makes it easier.
For them, any reaction at all is a success. If the reaction is utter disgust, they still get off on the power that their penis has to cause disgust.
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I suppose so. It’s just the prevalence of it in cyberspace is huge and implies that people you meet IRL may well be doing it, yet would they would not contemplate it in a “normal” social situation. But you’re probably right about Internet just makes it easier. 
Yes, that came up in the research as well as a lesser reason. Self-reported though, so likely understated.
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