… he woke up and assaulted the cops before speeding away
How the fuck could all that happen?!!
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I’ll second that but then note that he’d just blend into the woodwork in Burlington. They have, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me, the highest rate of bike theft in the country.
My son just started school there. He took 4 bikes. 
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Sounds like the perfect place for the city to invest in public bicycles. Honestly, that’s what Ann Arbor should do with all the abandoned bicycles the police scoop up every May as UM finishes up. 
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I had two comments. Couldn’t decide…
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They’re going to have to do a remake of Planes, Trains and Automobiles
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Someone needs to rewrite the lyrics of Trains and Boats and Planes
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Breathe on a cop these days, and they’ll call it assault. 
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If one is not blessed with privilege, yes.
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“Because of the unusualness of Mr. Edson’s various modes of flight, from cars to bikes to paddle boards to sailboats to tractors, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that Mr. Edson is a dangerous person,” said Burlington Police Chief Jon Murad.
I appreciate that the police are acknowledging that the scenario sounds like something out of a cartoon or extremely broad comedy - because it absolutely is, and there’s no getting around it.
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All I can picture is some Buster Keaton/Harold Lloyd - style chase scene:
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For a nice timeline of this fellow:
And the capture of said fellow:
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Or a Subaru.
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Or an adventure race:
(The actual Pole Pedal Paddle involves downhill skiing, x-country skiing, road biking, mountain biking, kayaking, and running.)
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Or a Bugs Bunny cartoon (of course, there’s a lot of overlap there, what with BB owing its sensibilities to Keaton).
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