Ponzi scheme suspect flees FBI on underwater scooter

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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/11/17/ponzi-scheme-suspect-flees-fbi-on-underwater-scooter.html

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Ah, he forgot the step where the helicopter scoops him up from the lake. It’s a common mistake that amateurs often make.

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Should’ve used his missiles…

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He needed the Scooty-Puff, Sr. not the Scooty-Puff, Jr.!

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I’ll give him points for just trying to do the criminal mastermind thing right. If you’re gonna be a villain, do it with some flair.

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He done fucked up.

Should have made off in a hang glider.

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I wonder where he got the idea? :thinking:

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What I’m really enjoying is imagining the couple of minutes where he truly thought “hooray, I escaped the FBI on my underwater scooter!”

Who among us in 2020 does not wish for a such a pure moment of imbecilic glee

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gues he needed a lake that crossed state lines

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I am not one to blame video games for causing crime or violence, but I am comfortable saying video game logic definitely played a role in this gentleman’s escape plan. He thought he’d cross a zone boundary, trigger a loading screen, and be home free.

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Should have done it with an underwater flare

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I feel the headline exploited my fuzzy thinking on the distinction between “flees” and “escapes” (for which I accept ultimate responsibility).

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Lake Shasta. This probably isn’t the first (or fifth) time someone’s tried to flee arrest at Lake Shasta using a magical toy. At least this one actually existed.

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If only his beanie had arrived in time, he’d still be in the wind:
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Feh, real bad guys escape to their camouflaged underwater nuclear sub dock.

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First time I remember seeing those underwater zoomy thingies was back in the mid 60s in the film Thunderball.

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Remarkably as cool as the device is in the film, nothing but nothing tops the sight of Bond making his getaway via jet-pack in the same film!
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How wild would it be if that was his clone they caught, and the real one is reading boingboing and laughing in his underwater lake home.

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He might have gotten away with it if he hadn’t misplaced the keys to his underwater lair.

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