Ponzi scheme suspect flees FBI on underwater scooter

futurama-scooty-puff-sr

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I’m still confused about the conveyances he used. The article quotes court documents saying he got inside a submersible vehicle. I somehow doubt the thing he got inside had a dry pressurized interior, but maybe it did. It certainly sounds more substantial than the little pool toy shown in the picture, which is clearly too small to enclose a thief, no matter what sort of drugs he might have been on.

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Now, if he’d had one of these he could have used the old Reverse DB Cooper and met up with an accomplice flying over Lake Shasta in a skydiving plane with the door open. If he’d played his cards right he could be now sipping Martinis in some foreign Covid quarantine. Until the men in black arrived checking the register for a Mr Ponzi.

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At least we didnt have to hear about FBI fleas.

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“Bland, James Bland.”

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Or

Apparently Elon Musk owns it now.

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Instead, he clipped through a wall right into a jail cell, only to not be able to clip back out.

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Ok, all joking aside;

Where did he think he was going to go? It’s not like he’s got the aforementioned secret underwater base hidden in Lake Shasta. Also, it’s a lake. A big one admittedly, but he’d have to come up for air, or head for shore eventually…

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super villain secret hideout plans :
(penitentiary research focus)

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I’m guessing he thought the cops wouldn’t be able to track him underwater and he’d just pop up somewhere around the lake and run away. Certainly they couldn’t surround the entire lake right? But then the cops were able to track him just fine and he was busted.

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If he was in standard scuba gear, the bubble trail would give him away. Easy to forget when you’re under water.

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…then a speed boat, and then hit a snow covered mountain on a luge…

Or something more modest.

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Wet Nellie… Oof.

Wouldn’t a submersible vehicle just mean a vehicle which can be submerged? ( and, presumably, continue to function as a vehicle, as opposed to ‘my car, underwater’ ) I’m not sure a dry pressurized interior needs to be assumed.

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Right? Surprised the juvenile creators of Octopussy and Pussy Galore didn’t, you know.

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Water escapes don’t work.

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Of course, as with anything James Bond, the book has little in common with the movie.

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