Damnit, I’m only a priest, a rabbi, and a nun.
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I was waiting till the morphine stopped making me see pink elephants 
But she was too crafty for my shenanigans.
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japhroaig walks into a bar…
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A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey!! You!! We got a drink named after you!”
The grasshopper looks at the bartender and replies, “Really? You got a drink named Murray?”
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You didn’t tell her prior to being admitted; unless you were unconscious or otherwise incapacitated, that’s still asking for it.
Also, conversations with one’s mom while trippin’ balls is just good fun!
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Well, she still loves me very much and thinks I’m the bees knees, so thpppppppttt!
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“Come at me bro.”
Of course she does; that’s what mommies do!
But mine would have still given me business for not telling her in advance. She likes to get all the worrying in that she can…
*lolz
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No matter how old, mature, capable, intelligent, wise, and taken care lf, that’s still their job 
Oh, and HI MOM!! I’m pretty sure you’re reading this! You can just text me
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Umm… wouldn’t it be, japhroaig swims into a bar, seeing that he’s a fish? 
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*lolz
My own mom has no interest in my online antics, oddly.
But there will be hell to pay if she doesn’t hear from me at least biweekly.
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You know, if you grab a copy of the pope card image, you’re a Pope too! In Discordianism, everyone’s a pope. (I’m not sure I’m a great pope, I tend to take things too seriously for that. But I’m working on it. 
)
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Came here for this, now leaving satisfied.
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say happy birthday to Fabricia for me
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Just did!
She says happy-not-your-birthday back!
(My friends are a little too used to me, IMHO)
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[I know exactly what you mean]
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