Vintage automata toy depicts the horror of going to the dentist

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“This happy little fellow is The GOUGER”




Since covid it’s a Water Pik, floss, and a stiff bristle brush, no dentist for me unless pain.

My last experience was surgical removal of some wisdom teeth before covid. The surgeon cracked my lower jaw.

I have a mouth full of fillings that were all put in when I was a kid in the 70s, every one of them was done without Novocain. Screw that dentist and my parents for saying go ahead, we don’t believe in pain medicine.

Every dentist I’ve seen in the last decade wants to remove and replace those fillings, nope, no way.

We have a new place that’s been advertising sedation denistry, that’s for me.


I’m guessing this toy was made for those few who enjoy going to the dentist.


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steve martin laughing GIF


That the “dental” tool has a light at the end, it makes it read more like a taser or cattle prod or similar… which is a slightly different kind of horror.

This fantastic animated short is a different sort of dental horror:

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I knew someone would make my favorite comment:

is it safe marathon man GIF


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But it’s completely missing the part where the bill arrives! (Especially when it shows that your insurance paid only $65 of a $385 procedure.)

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Ok, now you’re giving me a flashback to the horror of braces…

braces GIF by Marshmello

Paying For You GIF by Holler Studios

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Oh, that’s big-ticket. Do they have you sit down with the financing people first?

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I suppose that’s because of un-fancy amalgam, correct?

If so, good that you kept them, for a couple of reasons me and my dentist agree on: they provide a combination of better seal, better longevity, better stability and better durability than basically everything other than gold. While mercury content is often used as an argument for removal, the opposite effect of the intended one is much more likely, if not inevitable - during the removal, it gets far more likely and in more relevant dosages into your metabolism.

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Y’know, they did! I got them as an adult, had been a patient with that dentist for decades, and was earning a good salary at the time. So it was a surprise when their first step was to offer me financing through some in-house service they had. Instead, I put the whole thing on a cash-back credit card and paid it off before any finance charges hit.

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