Vintage CB radio trolling from 1969


Originally published at:


That guy on Channel 6 used to drive me nuts, going on and on for hours. He was all “mythical Christian solar god Jesus” this and “the African-Kemetic/Anu creator solar gods, Ra, Aten, Amen-Ra, Atum” that.


One of the original social media systems.



Back in the heyday of CB, we didn’t have gifs. We had to say “Breaker breaker, I’m picturing a girl with pigtails banging her head on a table. Over”. You kids today don’t know how easy you have it.


Back in the day, I had a 40 channel SSB, and a 23 channel walkie. Much fun was had, but everyone seemed pretty civil. It wasn’t until the CB boom hit, (Smokey + Bandit, Convoy, etc) that the yahoos showed up and ruined it.


Did Elvis and JFK take care of him?


I was was mucking through the stuff in the basement, and was trying to decide to pitch the CB radio.

Yep, pitch the radio, keep the power supply.


And you just knew that guy on channel 6 was parroting something he heard on channel 5… When you tried to break in to point this out, he’d just go off on another tangent.


Shooting skip off the upper atmosphere to talk to other countries; illegally high powered rigs that the Fancy Candy Company would track you down with their triangulation vans; X-rated language that couldn’t be typed in evidence transcripts - i.e. ‘fusk’ instead of the real four-letter word; just having fun assembling things that would lead to interest in these new-fangled things called home computers. It was a Wild West out there.


For a great movie that really captures the CB era, dig up a copy of Citizen’s Band, sometimes released as Handle With Care. It has truckers, vigilantes, a troll war and even Nazis. It’s a bit hard to find nowadays, but it is available in VHS and for rental on Youtube. All told, it’s a hoot.


Back in the day the internet was a civil place full of professional, trustworthy and thoughtful people. Much fun was had - then AOL gave its customers access to the internet (not just their own tiny eco-system) and suddenly the internet was a much dumber and uncivil place.


When he took a break, we’d play love songs to tie up the channel.


Don’t forget “Why (** *** ***) To Vote For Hubert Humphrey”.


Negativland used this kind of stuff on their “U2” single. This was common on CB right up until the late 90’s (maybe it’s still going on?), I occasionally tried to record it with my weird little Radio Shack shortwave, but usually I could only get one half of the conversation at a time. Still, a lot of cursing and guys just blabbering aimlessly, sometimes singing too.


I blame WebTV for introducing real stupidity to the Web.

(On the first few releases on AOL that had “The Internet”, you had to go looking for it - they still wanted to keep everyone in their walled garden as much as possible)


In fact, around 1992 I heard the internet referred to as “CB radio for the 90s”.


That’s what my late uncle thought, “I’m not sure this will be as big a deal as everyone says it’s going to be. It reminds me of 20 years ago [the 70s] when everyone was going to get a CB radio.”


Wasn’t there a 10 code you had to use for that?


Surely there had to be some actual lingo for that?

Moppet bangin’ her toppet?
Forehead varnish?