Wanted: real British criminals to commit real British crimes


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/02/23/foreign-muck.html


I bet most of those new criminals weren’t even licensed members of the Guild of Thieves, Cutpurses and Allied Trades.


Nah. Look, the weathervane is empty.


What’s all this shouting about? We want local crimes for local people!


I can see why this is no longer considered a crime. Who among us hasn’t done that?


Well, what do you want? When you provide government stipends for housing and food, and they have a Playstation, why bother committing crimes? :wink:


Look, it wasn’t a goose, it was a mallard. And I was stoned, not drunk. And it wasn’t so much a conspiracy as it was a meeting of two like-minded consenting adults.

But geese are assholes, and their drunken co-conspirators can go hang.


Someone at a museum where I worked in the late 80’s was prosecuted for ‘dishonestly handling a stuffed squirrel’


I know of an entire political party that wouldn’t get the joke.


It depends whether it means I was intoxicated or the goose was intoxicated. I HAD to conspire with it while IT was intoxicated - it was the only way to placate it - it’s a mean drunk! I deny any such thing happening while I was intoxicated.


Yes, that goose is a mean drunk. The gander is much more fun which is how I got in trouble. The gander and I were gettin’ sloshed and the goose said, “Hey, if it’s good enough for him…”


I nearly got lost in Scarfolk. It feels so homely.

Now I am tempted to get the book, just to leave it on the coffee table for curious visitors to inspect…


Sauce for the goose?


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