Wanted: real British criminals to commit real British crimes


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/02/23/foreign-muck.html


#2

I bet most of those new criminals weren’t even licensed members of the Guild of Thieves, Cutpurses and Allied Trades.


#3

Nah. Look, the weathervane is empty.


#4

What’s all this shouting about? We want local crimes for local people!

Also…

I can see why this is no longer considered a crime. Who among us hasn’t done that?


#5

Well, what do you want? When you provide government stipends for housing and food, and they have a Playstation, why bother committing crimes? :wink:


#6

Look, it wasn’t a goose, it was a mallard. And I was stoned, not drunk. And it wasn’t so much a conspiracy as it was a meeting of two like-minded consenting adults.

But geese are assholes, and their drunken co-conspirators can go hang.


#7

Someone at a museum where I worked in the late 80’s was prosecuted for ‘dishonestly handling a stuffed squirrel’


#8

I know of an entire political party that wouldn’t get the joke.


#9

It depends whether it means I was intoxicated or the goose was intoxicated. I HAD to conspire with it while IT was intoxicated - it was the only way to placate it - it’s a mean drunk! I deny any such thing happening while I was intoxicated.


#10

Yes, that goose is a mean drunk. The gander is much more fun which is how I got in trouble. The gander and I were gettin’ sloshed and the goose said, “Hey, if it’s good enough for him…”


#11

I nearly got lost in Scarfolk. It feels so homely.

Now I am tempted to get the book, just to leave it on the coffee table for curious visitors to inspect…


#12

Sauce for the goose?


#13

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