Florida Man, Florida Man, waved the bird at the food store cam /
Rolled away, with an ice cream case, Florida Man.
The article mistakenly presumed he rolled the cooler out the front door. But it was already outside, and it is more likely he just rolled it out of view from the camera, and helped himself to all the ice cream. He was probably found asleep, loaded full of ice cream, 5 feet away.
Maybe (and I am not defending his actions) he needed the clerk for something and could not wake him/her up, and moved the freezer to teach him/her a lesson. It would explain the ‘bird’, too. I worked on call at a data center for a long time, and one of our apocryphal stories was about the night two of us tried to leave, and it took us 45 minutes to wake up the sleeping security guard to unlock the door and let us out (this was before the swipe badges that are common today).
I was thinking it, but wasn’t going to say anything! More fundamentally, there is no such thing as property. Where the philosophy gets quite pernicious is these instances of assuming that whatever so see or find, that somebody “owns” it.
With regards to this ice cream scenario, I wonder where the freezer was taken to. If the guy dragged it home to keep it, I’d say there is a good case for theft (as it usually understood). But what about the more likely possibility that he only moved it away from the store? Is it still theft is you find something outdoors and simply move it, without laying any further claim to it? This seems less certain.
Police Man, Police Man
Responds to the scene as fast as he can
Police don’t know where the crook done ran
But Police have a plan: Internet fans
If the item clearly belongs to someone else, and you remove it from their property, yes.
That’s rather a big “if”, considering that hardly anyone explicitly labels their items or property. What if the ice cream freezer was on lease? Then it would have a sticker indicating that it was already the property of others elsewhere.
Then it would even more clearly be someone else’s property!
But it would indicate that the store was not the owner, so taking away from them to figure out how to return it would be the ethical (and filling) thing to do.
I’m gonna just take this as self-parody. Well played!
I can’t even tell anymore!
But he unplugged it. And it’s Florida, man,. Florida.
That ice cream isn’t going to last very long. Won’t somebody think of the confectionery?
Florida Man should get some leniency when performing certain drunk acts for our amusement.
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