You said a man thought he was being polite by referencing a physical attribute of your wife.
You don’t seem willing to accept the fact that it is not automatically a compliment to do such a thing. That there are so many other ways you can compliment a person where it is actually complimenting THEM, not something about their body that they may have absolutely no control over.
Let’s take it away from women-be-sexy for a moment…what if the reason she is thin is because she’s fighting a difficult disease or disorder? Would drawing attention to her weight be a kind thing? Would it make her happy to hear her weight being rated in public?
If people are telling you that it’s not a compliment, and thus you (and this other guy) are not, in fact, being polite when you resort to physical comments, why is it so important to you to keep doing it? Is your goal something other than being polite to others, perchance?
And there you have one reason why I would NEVER make such a comment myself. If, like me, you’ve been in a creative industry in NYC since the 80’s when people were dying right and left, you would NEVER comment on someone’s weight! I have never complimented a man or woman with more than “you look great”, and even that would be reserved for old friends.
My only point in bringing it up is context, that compliments are considered polite, not creepy, in many cultures, and the relationship, or not, between the people DOES matter. There’s lots you can say to a friend that would be offensive to a stranger. You create too much of a slippery slope between my saying a woman is attractive in a video and what I would say in person.
But when you get someone up to the mound who is internationally renowned for his ability to throw a ball, and who has a (short) MLB career behind him, you know you’re in for something special.
