Watch how to make lactose-free milk

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I just don’t drink milk, and thusly avoid this issue entirely.


Amazing! I can’t make milk at all!


A 13 minute video? I’ll just take the diarrhea, gas, and bloating, thank you.


I thought we could milk anything with nipples. Don’t you have nipples, Boundegar?

Am I wrong to get my biological education from movie characters? It worked with sex!

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You need prolactin for that

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When you are very lactose intolerant it really is hard to avoid it. It’s seriously everywhere.

The Lactose in Pringles Salt and Vinegar chips was the real surprise for me.

I don’t even trust lactose free milk at this point and just go to dairy free alternatives.


My nutrition teacher taught me that it is cheaper to just add lactase to regular milk. This video seems to confirm that it works as well so long as you wait a day or so before drinking the milk.

Lactose free milk commands a much higher price simply because it is not as much of a commodity.

My chemical engineering wife started complaining about the “chemist droning on” at the halfway mark.


I was expecting a lot more…I don’t know…do-it-yourself with simple kitchen products.

As I age into being less and less tolerant (of a LOT of shit!), I’ve been hacking the dairy-heavy favorite recipes I constantly eat:

Quesadillas: Now, I make them with paper-thin slices of apple, and only a token sprinkling of cheese

Macaroni & Cheese: I saw a TV chef make macaroni & cheese by saucing it with half cheese and half butternut squash. You’ll fart like a donkey, but you won’t know if it’s the cheese or the squash to blame.

Nachos: Half canned beans, half cheese. See above for results.

I ended up developing lactose intolerance in my twenties and it stuck around until I started taking DairyCare, which I guess is just enteric-coated lactase and lactobacillus acidophili. It was a pretty big deal in terms of making it so I could have pizza again as a fat kid, so now I take it daily.

I still buy lactose free milk for most stuff like coffee/etc, except savory applications - the breakdown of the polysaccharide into simple sugars in lactose free milk makes it significantly sweeter tasting than normal milk so using it in sauces/etc is…offputting to say the least.

Side note: you can significantly reduce the gassy effect of beans by boiling them yourself, straining thoroughly between soak and boil, and then after boil as well before adding to whatever food, and also tossing in a bit of kombu or other seaweed in while boiling it. The seaweed doesn’t add a lot to the beans other than a mild umami saltiness, which is fine with beans, and mostly rinses away at the end.

Why do you assume I mind farting? j/k

Interesting, because when I make beans at home, I follow the same procedure that you do - except for the kombu. I’m intrigued, and yet a little scared, because whenever I go to the Asian supermarket in the next neighborhood, I really, really shouldn’t bring my credit card. I suspect I’m coming home with a reasonable amount of kombu, and a whole lotta impulse buys.

Yet another reason to make cheeses like Parmesan, Gouda, Cheddar, etc. Those industrious little lactobacilli and whatever else goes into the starter culture efficiently convert lactose into tasty bacteria. The longer you age it the better it tastes and the less lactose you have to process

My understanding of lactose digestion in humans is that, from the perspective of genetics and evolution, it is lactose tolerance—or more accurately, lactase persistence—that is the anomaly.

Further reading for the curious:

An Evolutionary Whodunit: How Did Humans Develop Lactose Tolerance? (NPR)

High lactose tolerance in North Europeans: a result of migration, not in situ milk consumption (Perspectives in Biology and Medicine via PubMed)


Yeah, it’s the same with digesting ethanol - only a minority of the world population can do both stages.

That link comes from a fun website - if you’re into that sort of thing.

I know that having secondhand dairy (from lactobacillus) is supposed to help, but I’ve never noticed much of a difference. I’m sure there’s some extra Brut Swiss super-aged cheese that has no sugar left, but I don’t want it! Ice cream and powdered milk mixes like cocoa are my worst offenders. Hmmmm…come to think of it, I’ve never liked cream cheese on my bagels, either…

My neighbor’s MIL came to visit and bought some Lactaid. She told my neighbor in broken English: “It helps with the farts.”

Ironically, my dad was 100% central European, where they probably invented cheese. He was EXTREMELY farty, so I assume he had no copy of the lactase gene to give.

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