Watch: Scientist discovers type of spider that nurses its babies with high-protein milk

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/11/29/watch-scientist-discovers-typ.html

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40 days…

That’s nearly old enough for a kitten to be weaned.

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Man I can’t wait until this stuff is in stores.

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From the headline pic I thought it was an ant.

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Remember Scientifically Accurate Spider-Man? I shall not link to that rather questionable video (derived from an equally questionable list of “spider facts”), but instead to this takedown of the content.

It springs to mind because “spiders produce milk” was in fact one of things it supposedly got wrong. Coincidence? Probably.

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image

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Well first, we’re gonna have to make milking stools small enough to use while milking them.

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I spent my summers as a kid working on grandpa Otto’s spider dairy farm.

Hooking those ladies up to the milking machine was a real pain in the ass.

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:musical_note: Spider-milk, spider-milk…:musical_note:

You know what this means, of course - spider cheese, spider ice-cream…

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Perhaps an ant-mimic.

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Behold, the modern day ancestors of our 8 legged sentient replacements in 10 million years. We failed the test because we are tempestuous, mean, and selfish, so the Earth has come up with a new approach.

See, what I tell you about how mean we are?!

On re-examination it looks like an ant-mimic spider of some kind. Note it only has 7 legs. I assume it lost a leg in a fight, or else maybe the whole milk gland thing is a mutation associated with 7 legs. Which would be pretty cool.

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Soon to be available on Amazon, prime…

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I’m going to have such a tantrum at the coffee shop this weekend if I can’t get my latte made with spider milk. [stamps foot]

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Came to make these jokes! Thank you for holding it down!

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Spidermilk, spidermilk
Tasty nourishing spidermilk
Like trophic eggs
We surmise
Happy glints
In all 8 eyes
Watch out
Here comes the spidermilk

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Headline coming soon: ‘Spider milk–The New Health Craze!’

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Ugh!! A mother only its baby could love.

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mammals only
vertebrae are a luxury

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I understand now why Lucas is so awesome.

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