Website creates fake Brooklyn bar menus on demand

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Mmm, $11 for salt. Some kind of carb-free ramen noodles, I suppose.

I would totally go for “distressed rye”; it sounds very artisinal. Google suggests it’s already some kind of wood finish.


“quickened shell bean”

Sounds like the perfect meal for an immortal. Just beware of lightning strikes if you’re seated at a nearby table.

The question is, whose obituary read, “his head was chopped off by a bean”.


A few years ago I had a gig putting together newspapers for a fancy yacht club - the kind that had presidential candidates and senators as members. The newsletter mainly promoted the dinners and events the club held and always included menus for those events.

One day I’m typing in a menu that has just been concocted by the chef. I know vaguely what he’s making but he hasn’t fancied up the names yet.

I’m struggling - how do I write up this “Three kinds of duck with sauce” to make it sound appetizing. The chef comes over and goes, try this “Trio of duck en veloute”. That sounds so much better, I thought… That’s why he had the multi-stars.


Where is the up charge to see the previous days menu, now that would be mega snouty!

I wish I owned a small, swanky bistro. I’d hit this thing every morning, then hand the menu to the chef. “Make it so!”


Brooklyn’s Hottest New Club is…

… It has Everything…

Beautiful food

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This is interesting. I can see how this could be a useful tool for coming up with new menu names and even interesting new recipes/dishes without the need for a long-ass substance use session. Sometimes ya’ need to appear creative but circumstances make traditional means impractical.

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