What it takes to become qualified as a Shaolin Master

boing
1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/11/26/what-it-takes-to-become-qualif.html

…

3 Likes
2

I heard it’s like a game of chess.

10 Likes
3

Something, something, snatch the pebble from my hand?

16 Likes
4

Beat your dad in a fight?
No, that’s Jedi…

11 Likes
5

The online course from Trump University got me my certificate in three months, but it will take about eleven years to pay off my student loans.

22 Likes
6

It usually takes 11 years, but the BoingBoing store had it for 95% off, so I got mine in just 6 months.

32 Likes
7

My secret weapon is the “hug”, my Son taught this to me, an ancient art when he was just a young lad, he is a master of “two dragons, one house”.

15 Likes
8

Interesting review of this BBC video by someone who spent time training there:

19 Likes
9

And listen to the grasshopper at your feet.

6 Likes
10

It’s fascinating to see something like this that’s rooted in a martial art but has evolved over so much time to be something else entirely-- keeping the guise of “fighting” while being almost wholly ritual/performative.

6 Likes
11

4 Likes
12

take%20him%20to%20detroit

5 Likes
13

you beat me to it.

2 Likes
14

“You must learn patience Ed Gruberman.”

8 Likes
15

I was going to add a tasteless and unnecessary reference to auto-erotic asphyxiation, but I thought better of it. :smiling_imp:

1 Like
16

A hundred men they’ll test today

(yeah, I’m really that old, and yeah, I’m going there)

Only three win the green beret

3 Likes
17

I enjoyed his calling bullshit frequently

2 Likes
18

Saw this some months ago. Agree. Also:

We have been part of Shaolindo kungfu school in south Austin for years.
These documentaries tend to ladle on the mystique.

Mostly it’s a lot of repetition and hard work, and getting bruised and sore a lot. Sometimes someone (even our teacher!) will cut his own foot open when teaching edged weapons like the guandao even if the edge is not sharpened. Ooopsie.

Thanks for posting this.

7 Likes
19

And yet, here we are. You, me.

And this belt.

2 Likes
20

Actually in China, it’s more the opposite. I never met any parent who did not pay at one point their kid teachers.
It usually takes 11 years, but by paying extra money, I go mine in just in 6 months.

1 Like